


Vacation

by LadyCorvidae, roseforthethorns



Series: Watch the World Burn [12]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Actual locations, Alley Sex, Anal Sex, Angst Train, Bit cracky, Casual clothes, Chinese Takeaway, Cuddling, Dancing, Edinburgh, Established Relationship, Forgiveness, Guilt, Here comes a hint of angst, Jealous!Jim, Kilts, Lapdance, Leather Trousers, M/M, Making Up, Memories, Mentions of attempted suicide, Murder Husbands, Pub Crawl, Reconciliation, Reichenbach missing years, Scotland, Self Loathing, Sleep talking, Snogging, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Up against a wall sex, Vacation, Vibrators
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-30
Updated: 2012-10-02
Packaged: 2017-11-15 09:10:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 21,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/525639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyCorvidae/pseuds/LadyCorvidae, https://archiveofourown.org/users/roseforthethorns/pseuds/roseforthethorns
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The murder husbands get a much needed break from the world in a vacation to Scotland...</p><p>My co-writer, ladycorvidae, is the best. Hands down, bar none, she is the absolute bomb.</p><p>(I own nothing of these characters. All Sherlock rights go to the BBC, Moffat, and Gatiss. I'm just having some fun.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Pub Crawl

"Jim? Jim, wake up. Train's pulling up in a minute."

Jim woke, blinking against the harshness of the halogen lights of the station. He stretched, the bones in his back and neck popping as he rolled them. He smiled sleepily at his husband. "A vacation... _God_ , we need one," he murmured, resting his forehead on Seb's.

"Yes, we do. Now, c'mon, luv. If you don't get up, I _will_ carry you," the blonde teased, pressing a quick kiss to Jim's lips.

"No no, don't need that. Although if you want to carry me into the hotel room to the bed... well, I wouldn't say no to that," Jim said cheekily as he stood, hand darting to pinch Seb's arse.

The sniper bit his tongue to stifle his moan. "Easy there, little Tiger. We've got sightseeing to do."

"Fine, fine. But if you ask me, the only sight I want to see is you spread out on the bed, wanting..." Jim said, his voice low enough for just Seb to hear. He smirked, knowing just what that would do to his lover.

" _Fffffuck_ ," Seb whimpered, snatching their bags and leading them from the train. "You are bloody impossible sometimes." Then, lowering his own voice, "And don't think you'll be the one topping the whole time we're here. I have plans to fuck you senseless."

"Oooh, but, in the spirit of going to Scotland, as Burns once said-" Jim adopted a rough Scottish brogue, easily covering his usual smooth Irish one, "'-The best-laid plans of mice and men oft go astray'."

"I hate that I have no control around you," the blonde hissed back, hailing a cab to take them up to the hotel in the older part of the city. He'd insisted on a cheap one, wanting this to be as much like a normal, ordinary vacation as possible. Paying the driver when they got there, Seb checked them into the Ibis Hotel and led his husband up to the fourth floor. "Here we are," he said, opening the door. "After you."

Jim nodded appreciatively as he looked around the hotel room. "Not bad! Not as posh as I'm used to... and by contrast, not as shitty as I've seen, either. A nice middling room. Very good," he said as he set his suitcase on the bed.

"I want simple. We don't _need_ extravagant stuff. We get that at home. I... I just want this to be Jimmy and Seb, husbands on vacation, and normal people get normal hotels. Besides-" he flopped down on the bed, sighing contentedly as tense vertebrae in his back popped, "-bed's really fuckin' comfy."

Jim moved the suitcase to the floor and joined Seb. "Hm. You're right. Nice..." he said, snuggling into the pillows.

The blonde pulled Jim close. "Wanna cuddle," he mumbled into Jim's shoulder. "And I repacked your case. No suits."

The smaller man made a soft noise of irritation. "Fine, no suits," he grumbled. Then he turned and wrapped his arms around his husband, breathing in his scent; soap and metal and gunpowder and the rich musk that was _Seb_. He hummed in pleasure, burrowing into his warmth.

"Mmhmmm, no suits. Jeans, tight shirts, you've got sexy black denims and a really hot button down in there too 'cause Tiger's taking you on a pub crawl tonight."

Jim chuckled. "Oh God... a _pub crawl_. I haven't been on one of those since I was in Uni."

"Well, now you're goin' with your husband... wait, you did one in Uni? Ohhhh, spill. Tiger wants details." Seb shifted so he was sitting up with Jim curled up against his chest.

"I can barely remember it... I was _plastered_. Loud music, loud people, lots of alcohol. I vaguely remember snogging a cute American girl..." Jim said.

"Oh? She was cute?"

"Mhm! Could've sworn she had a tattoo on her shoulder, but I was wrong. Dark hair, lots of curls. No need to be jealous, though, Tiger. I'm all yours," Jim reassured with a bit of a smirk.

"Yeah... well... just sizing up the competition. I'm always one for a good snog."

"Oh please, Seb. That was... what, ten, fifteen years ago?"

"Yeah, but a good snog you can remember forever."

"True... I only remember because, well, cute and _American_. When I was an innocent young lad untrained in the ways of the world... when America meant glitz and glamour and Hollywood..." Jim tried to keep a serious face, but failed miserably.

Seb snorted. "Innocent. Yup. Not so innocent now, not with me around," he teased, kissing Jim's nose. "Now... we have about three hours before it starts, two hours before dinner, and we need to get ready before then. I want you _irresistible_ tonight."

Jim quirked an eyebrow. "If you wanted me to be irresistible, then you should have let me pack the suits."

"Contrary to popular belief, you actually can't do everything in a suit, Jimmy-love."

The smaller man scowled slightly. "Fine. But it's what I'm used to. I feel so... _underdressed_ in these clothes," he said, picking at a loose thread on the jumper he wore.

Frowning, Seb gently took Jim's hand and kissed it gently. "I think you're gorgeous all the time, Jimmy. And I kinda wanna just relax here. I-I sometimes feel a bit intimidated when you're in a suit. It's more Boss and Sniper then, a formal relationship rather than husbands. Besides, this jumper looks really good on you."

Jim wound his arms around Seb's neck and nuzzled his face into the unnamed place where his neck and shoulder met. "I'm fine with relaxing. And I can learn to love the jumper, I promise," he murmured softly. His brow furrowed slightly; he didn't like the fact that he intimidated Seb. He thought they were past that now.

The blonde stroked his hand lazily through Jim's hair. "You're leaving again. Your brain's doing that thing where it runs away with my husband," he teased, tweaking the younger man's nose. "Please tell me I didn't put my foot in my mouth again. I'd-" He very nearly said that he might've jumped off the roof, but caught himself. "-I'd have to come up with a proper punishment for that. Or let you do it, luv."

Jim shook himself slightly, purring as Seb's hand wound its way through his hair. "Here, love. Don't worry. Shan't leave you," he muttered somewhat sleepily.

"Nope. You're mine." Seb found himself starting to nod off, starting when he checked his watch. "Ohhhh, no. Naptime later. Shower now. I want everyone who sees you tonight to want you and to know they can't have you."

Jim's eyebrows went up. "Well well... Tiger's a _tease_. All right. Help me conserve water, then," he said, smiling cheekily as he disentangled himself from Seb's embrace and sauntered to the bathroom.

"Right behind you."

oOoOo

"If you squirm one more time, I'm dumping the product down your back."

"Not my fault that you're taking your sweet time and ruddy _tickling_ when you should be putting this in my hair!" Jim grumbled.

"I'm not tickling! You've got a sensitive scalp, you baby." The blonde dragged his fingers through Jim's hair once more before styling it, watching them in the mirror. He was standing behind his husband while he worked, admiring the blood red shirt Jim was in with the top two buttons undone. Seb's black shirt was unbuttoned and he was in his pants, not having bothered with trousers yet.

Jim leered at the fine figure his husband cut. "You're sure we're gonna go on this pub crawl? With the way you look right now, I'd much rather have a... _private_ party," he said.

"You are _such_ a horn dog. And yes, we're doing this. It's what normal people do, Magpie. And we never go dancing. There should be a couple of clubs on this. Or pubs with dance floors. Or both if we're lucky."

Jim huffed. "Normal is boring, but I'll do it since you're with me," he said. "Now, are you quite done turning my head into something that looks like a hedgehog or two decided to stay in?"

"It's stylish, so quit your whinging. And stay in here and brush your teeth. I'm getting dressed and _no peeking_."

The smaller man grumbled but acquiesced, getting his toothbrush and paste and setting to work. He was grateful that there was a wall nearby when he walked out of the bathroom, because the image before him made his knees weak. Seb was grinning like the cat who swallowed the canary. "Excited to go out _now_?"

"With you in that getup? I'll have to go with you to beat them off you with a _stick_ , Tiger," Jim said, his voice hoarse.

"Just because _you_ like my arse clad in leather doesn't mean everyone else-"

"Everyone who has _eyes_ will. And oh, your arse is _godly_ in that. Better bare, but... Tiger-mine, what you do to me," he groaned softly.

"Oh, I _know_. The benefits of being an older lover." He pressed his forehead to Jim's, smiling as his hands settled on the Irishman's hips. "You'll need to carry the money and ID tonight." Then trailing his lips to Jim's ear, "And I should warn you now," he whispered, " _I'm not wearing any pants_."

Jim shivered. Then he got a wicked idea. His hand stole down Seb's chest and stomach, cupping the bulge of his cock underneath the taut leather of his trousers, squeezing gently. "No... you aren't, are you," he said.

Seb's blue eyes went wide, and he swallowed hard, fighting to remain in control of his body and to recall all of the blood that was rushing south. "N-no, 'm not. And w-we've got d-dinner."

Jim's grin widened as he recalled something that The Woman once said. "I'm not hungry... let's have dinner," he purred.

" _Jim_ -"

"Hmm?"

Growling, Seb forced the smaller man against the nearest wall, looming in his face. "We're going out. I'm getting you drunk. We're dancing. _Then_ you can fuck me senseless until the bed nearly breaks. All right?"

The smaller man ground his hips against Seb's, smirking. "Promise on the last part?" he said.

" _Yes_ ," Sebastian groaned, backing his lower half away from the consulting criminal. "Now, decide on whether you're bringing a jacket, because I'm not carrying it for you."

"No jacket; just going to take it off when I go inside and I don't want to carry it around or lose it. Let's go _hunting_ , Tiger," he said.

The sniper's mouth twisted into a predatory smirk. " _Let's_."

oOoOo

They were at the third or fourth club now; the dinner had been marvelous and the first two (or three? He was beginning to lose track) clubs were all right. This one, though... the music was loud and provocative, there was enough space to dance, and the air smelt of alcohol and sex... it was intoxicating. Jim grinned as he finished his shot and began pushing his way through the massed crowd of people on the dance floor to find Seb. He found him all right... and he didn't know if he liked what he saw or he hated it. Two things were certain, though; Seb was a _fantastic_ dancer, and Jim was JEALOUS.

"What's your name?" Sebastian shouted over the music pounding through his head. The girl had wandered over to where he'd been leaning and tugged him gently onto the floor. Now he had her back to him and his hands on her waist, grinding and swaying to the beat, her long, brown hair tied loosely over one shoulder and shaking free with every motion of her hips. She grinned like a cat, green eyes glinting, and said something that he wasn't able to catch over the noise. Jim scowled, but _damn_ if it wasn't hot to watch.

Seb growled, pressing his nose to the crook of her neck. The whiskey, Jaeger bomb and several Vodka shots were starting to really pump through his veins. Spinning the girl easily (he still had a few inches on her though not much), he pulled her back in close, grinning and grinding as the music changed to a song with pounding bass he could feel in his bones. She molded herself to him, arms around his neck, one hand tangling in his hair, close enough to his ear to let him hear her breathless chuckle as they moved with the music. That did it for Jim... he began to shove his way through the crowd to get to his husband.

The blonde growled in his throat, leaning into the touch of her hand when he was suddenly staggering back, unbalanced (he really should have told Jim he didn't need another shot at the last place). Jim snarled at the girl, who quirked an eyebrow and backed away, her hands up in a gesture of surrender. Her eyes flicked over the two of them, and understanding dawned; she grinned, winked, then melted into the crowd, hips swaying as she walked away. Jim wound himself around Seb, still fuming.

"Am I in trouble?" Seb asked, forced to yell louder than he'd have liked in the close space of the club.

"Perhaps," Jim shouted back. "Didn't like the way she had her hands all over you... slut," he growled.

"If you're pointing fingers, my hands were all over her as well. Don't take that the wrong way. I just like dancing."

"She was _touching_ what's _mine_ ," the consulting criminal hissed. He fancied he could smell her on him, a faint spicy-sweetness that made his frown deepen, so he pressed closer to Seb to erase it with his own.

"I don't belong to her-" Seb started to reassure Jim, but then the group was on the move, ushered from the club and into the shockingly cool air of the Edinburgh night. The blonde kept Jim wrapped up close, copping a feel and pressing a kiss to his forehead. "I know I'm yours, Jimmy. And you jealous makes for a fantastic night," he added, his voice a mere rumble.

"As much as I didn't like it, I have to admit it was hot as fuck to watch," he conceded. He smirked. "Should we go clubbing more often if my being jealous... _excites_ you?"

"You think I'm hot dancing with other women?"

He shrugged. "You were looking at her like she was _prey_. And that (plus the dancing... after all, I _know_ what your hips can do) was... _nice_ ," he said with a leer.

"We've got two places to go and can skip the last if you like. It's right by the hotel. I can go hunting at this next place, make my sentence even _harsher_ when we get back."

Jim's eyes searched the crowd. "Maybe find her again?" he teased. Then he grew serious. "No. Back to the hotel _now_. No more hunting."

"It's this way. C'mon, you sexy man. I'll escort you home. Can't be too careful these days."

The Irishman chuckled darkly. "Oh no, you can't. Wolves in the darkness, tigers in the alleys. And the world's full of _rabbits_ , just ready to run," he purred.

"If you don't stop talking, I'll fuck you in the nearest alley," Seb growled, grabbing Jim's hand and nearly dragging him off.

"Is that a promise?" he asked. "We can do that later... now, though... I want to peel you out of those trousers and ride you _hard_ ," he said, his voice husky.

" _Ride me_?" The blonde nearly melted into the ground. "Move faster or I'm carrying you," he breathed, picking up his pace.

Jim chuckled and sped up, the hotel now in sight. He practically dragged Seb to the elevator and down the hall, fumbling in his trouser pockets for the room key.

"Hurry _up_."

The electronic lock clicked and Jim nearly kicked the door open, a growl rumbling in his chest as he pulled Seb in behind him. Kicking the door home, Seb hit the lights so they wouldn't trip. "I can still feel her against me, Jim. Her curves, her _breasts_ , the skin of her neck smooth, so easily marked. I wanted t, wanted to mark her as my prey. It's so easy when you know how, and she would have liked it."

Jim snarled. "Bet she would have. But she doesn't have you. _I_ do. And you are _mine_." He ripped open Seb's shirt, sending buttons scattering to the corners of the room, shoving him backwards so he fell onto the comfortable bed, caging his larger body with his smaller one.

"You can still see it though... what would happen, hmmm? What would you have done if she'd _kissed_ me?"

His eyes narrowed and his lip curled, revealing clenched teeth. "Then you would have been admiring her heart on a platter."

"Oh? Someone's possessive. I can see it now... her tongue in my mouth... my hands in her hair-"

"Her blood on my clothes, her head on the ground..." Jim said, his voice pitched seductively as he started to undo Seb's trousers.

"My cock grinding against-"

" _ME_. That is the _only_ thing your cock grinds against," Jim hissed, abandoning the leather in favor of undoing his own shirt and trousers as quickly as he could.

"Oh really? And I thought you _liked_ watching me dance."

"Dance, yes. With a woman? Not as much," he murmured.

"You're taking an awfully long time for someone who two seconds ago was ready to decapitate someone."

"Long enough a time for you to want to go out and find the person I want to decapitate? Maybe this is part of your... _punishment_ , Tiger," Jim said, slowly working his way out of his trousers.

"You being a fucking cocktease? Yeah, I do believe that."

"Mmmm, yes. Although you have such a _lovely_ cock to tease. Bet _she_ wanted it," he said, cupping Seb's straining arousal through the tight leather. "Too bad for her that all she'll ever do is dream of it. Maybe use her fingers or a toy... imagining you over her, claiming her..."

"Seeing as I was hard against her? _Yeah_ , I think she _will_ ," Seb whispered into hi husband's ear.

"Didn't know you got off on cows like that," Jim said, starting to peel Seb's trousers off, pausing to rip of his shoes and fling them away.

"Honestly? I was dancing with her... but I was thinking of _you_."

Jim's lips quirked in a satisfied grin. " _Good_."

"Now... are you going to give me zipper imprints or are you _actually_ going to take off my trousers?"

"Patience, Tiger. Your fault for choosing something so skintight you could tell what way you lean," he said.

"Just makes you hornier than ever, Jimmy. Don't deny that you've wanted to fuck me sideways since I got dressed." Seb sank back against the sheets, closing his eyes and humming softly.

"I've wanted to fuck you sideways since you started working for me, 'Bastian," Jim said.

The blonde shivered. "I _love_ when you call me that. Can't understand why I didn't like it at first."

"One of those things that grows on you, I guess... _'Bastian,_ " he purred.

The sniper felt his cock twitch, straining to get free of the leather. "Okay... playtime's over, Magpie... _Master_."

Jim shivered, his eyes rolling shut. When he opened them, they were nearly black. "Ooooh, _yesss_. My pretty little plaything..." he growled. He shucked the remaining clothes off of him and surveyed the glorious sight that was a naked and fully aroused Seb.

The blonde tilted his chin up towards the ceiling, his mouth open slightly as he exhaled heavily. "I'm at your bidding, my Master."

Jim fairly attacked Seb, his mouth claiming his husband's before sliding down to bite and suck roughly at his neck, leaving dark love-bites, his hands winding in Seb's hair and pulling it back slightly. The sniper groaned, his voice dropping even lower than usual as Jim abused him with his mouth. "Th-that feels so good, M-master... th-thank you, Master."

"My gorgeous Tiger... your skin tastes so sweet, so _delicious_."

"Devour me, then. I'm yours for the feasting, Master."

"Mmm... and I intend to take my fill," Jim promised, kissing his way down Seb's torso, trailing his tongue down the fine trail of hair that started below his navel and led to his arousal, deftly avoiding it and letting his hot breath touch it.

"S-sir... oh please, Master... please touch my cock..."

"Why?"

"Because I _need_ it, Master."

Jim chuckled and drew his tongue around the base before licking a stripe up the underside to circle around the head of it, sucking it slightly into his mouth, flicking the tip.

"Y-yes... ohgod yes..." Seb's head sank back against the pillows, his hips thrusting slightly to try and get more of his length inside his husband's mouth; Jim pinned Seb's hips down as he swirled his tongue and suckled, taking a little more of his husband's length into his mouth each time, humming with pleasure.

"Hanh... oh... ahyesthere... bloody amazing, sir. Thank you for sucking my cock, sir."

Jim would have smiled if he could have with his mouth so full... so he pulled off Seb's cock, smirking as he got off the bed and backed away. Sebby whimpered at the loss of Jim's mouth, leaning up and opening his eyes. "Did I do something wrong, Master?"

"No, my Tiger. Not at all. I'm just fetching something," he said. He went to the suitcase and pulled out what he was looking for, bringing it back to the bed. He popped the cap on the bottle of lube and slicked up his fingers, trailing them down to Seb's entrance, circling around it before lightly pressing the tip of one finger in. The blonde's eyes rolled back into his head as he was breached, his hole tingling slightly at first, but the more Jim pumped and curled first one, then two fingers, the more he tingled and squirmed. The younger man pressed a string of kisses along Seb's hips, slowly easing a third finger in and wriggling them slightly, pressing further inward until he found that bundle of nerves and stroked against it.

It was almost like a shock, the lube easily rubbing off onto his prostate and making him _whine_ as pleasure rolled through his body. "I-I-oh _Master_ -fuckme _please_!"

Jim slowly tugged his fingers out of Seb and slicked up his cock, hissing slightly as the lube hit his sensitive arousal. He gently pressed into his husband, sinking in slowly until he was sheathed to the hilt. They'd done this hundreds of times, but tonight it was different. Sebastian could barely think through the haze of lust and desire clouding his mind, the extra kick from the lube driving him mad with want, and Jim filling him deliciously. " _Perfection_ ," he whispered, going boneless beneath the man he loved.

Jim purred, pleased, as he began to move. The sniper rocked down, unable to help himself. They were starting off so languid, especially considering how jealous Jim had been before, and they almost never went like this: slow, practically loving. He could feel his extremities tingling, his breath coming in pants and breathy gasps that only Jim got to hear.

Feeling uncharacteristically gentle, Jim began to rock, thrusting slowly and gently into Seb, rolling his hips and pressing kisses to his collarbones.

"Yes... oh yes... you feel so _good_... inside me... oh Master..."

"Shhh... not Master. Merely your Jim. As you are my 'Bastian," he murmured into his ear before tugging lightly on Seb's earlobe with his teeth. He began to pick up the pace, moving faster but no less gently.

"Jim... my Jim, my Jimmy-Ah!!!!" Seb's back arched off the bed as Jim's tip ground torturously against his prostate, hitting in just the right place every time.

"My Seb, My 'Bastian, my _Tiger_ ," Jim purred. He thrust a bit harder, feeling the coil of desire building in his gut. He moaned, knowing that neither of them would last much longer.

"Right there... make me cum... I love _you_."

"And I love you. I _love_ you... my Sebastian!" Jim gasped, breathless. With one more thrust, he buried himself deep inside Seb, groaning his husband's name as he came hard.

It was Jim's voice that did it, Jim's voice that always did it. Seb followed, shaking as he fell apart, crying Jim's name to every single corner of the room, clenching around the organ still inside his body and holding the smaller man as close as he could.

Jim purred as the whiteness left his vision, pulling slowly out of Seb before wandering off to get a wet flannel to clean them both up, doing so tenderly. He tossed the soiled cloth aside and turned down the covers so they could snuggle underneath them, sharing their warmth and their scent. The older man instantly tangled their legs and pressed their chests together, making it possible to kiss his husband, cupping the consulting criminal's face in his large, callused hands. The kiss itself was easy and unhurried, a slow slide of lips and tongues more loving than erotic as the blonde just simply enjoyed being this near the man who was his heart.

Jim's eyes slid shut as he smiled, enjoying the feeling of Seb and his lips and the beating of his heart. He sighed in contentment as he shared in the love that ebbed and flowed from them both. "I love you... _so_ much," he said, with all the feeling his voice could muster.

"You're m'life," Seb responded simply, continuing to drink from Jim's lips and mouth.

"As you are mine."

Eventually, exhaustion settled in with the older blonde pressing a single, final kiss to Jim's mouth and tucking the smaller man against his body. "I'm here, Jimmy. Wake me if you have bad dreams and be here in my arms when I wake in the morning. Sleep well, my luv."

Jim nodded, his eyes drifting shut as he slid under the dark, blissful waves of sleep, contentedly wrapped in his lover's arms.

That night, for the first time in nearly two decades, James Moriarty slept without waking.


	2. Of Kilts and Rings

_Magpie of my heart-_

_I've slipped out for a bit of shopping this morning, and you were so sound asleep that I didn't want to wake you. Breakfast is included, so go make sure you get something to eat, then meet me in front of St. Giles Cathedral just up the road. I'll be right in front of the statue of Adam Smith in the square._

_I love you._

_Tiger_

 

Jim rubbed his eyes and panicked slightly when the other side of the bed was empty and cold; however, he calmed down after he saw and read Seb's note. He took a leisurely shower and dressed, meandering down to breakfast before heading out to St. Giles Cathedral. The day was sunny with a clear blue sky, and he cast his keen dark eyes around for Seb.

Smirking, the sniper leaned casually against the statue while waiting for Jim. It was crisp and cold, amazingly sunny for the northern land. He soon spotted the man, secretly taking his time and admiring every single detail about him, his heart warming at the thought that Jim was _his_ husband. The younger man's eyes went wide as he found Seb leaning against the tall statue. "Well, well, well... I guess I really _do_ wear the pants in this marriage," Jim drawled as he took in the glorious sight of his husband in a _kilt_.

The blonde's eyes darkened slightly before he pushed himself up and sauntered toward the smaller man. "Yes, well, if I wanted a skirt, I'd be wearing pants. And kilts are manly, you numpty."

The smaller man snickered. "Go on, give us a twirl."

Rolling his eyes, Seb did, feeling like an utter fool, but grinning like a child at Christmas inside. He spun slowly at first, just to tease Jim with the sight of his bare skin above the black stockings that stopped just below his knees.

The Irishman rumbled a purr in his chest. "Very nice, Tiger. Shows off your legs," he said with a leer and a wink.

"Only for you. And I like this. Freedom of movement, nothing is restricted." He lowered his voice, lips brushing Jim's ear, "Everything hanging nice and free."

Jim's eyebrows went up. "So you're going regimental? You're a braw, bold Tiger," he said, putting on a rough brogue.

"Simply thought you'd love a bit of your own on your arm today, again, claiming me in front of everyone in this city. Why d'you think I'm wearing a red tartan with my black sniper pullover? Because I'm _yours_."

Jim, in a move that he _never_ did in public, took Sebastian's hand. "As I am yours, my love," he said. "Now, let's go see if we can cause some tourists to swoon... havoc on a micro-scale."

The blonde's heart did a funny little flip to see Jim's hand in his own. Squeezing it gently, he gave his husband a smile. "I think we'll manage that. After all... a younger man with his sculpted older lover? In a kilt? And we haven't even started snogging yet."

Jim grinned wickedly. "No, we haven't. Let's rectify that..." and he pulled Seb's head down to his own for a heated, claiming kiss. Sebastian groaned, refusing to relinquish his grip on Jim's hand as their mouths moved, their first public snog, he realized as Jim's tongue dipped teasingly between his lips. Jim's tongue danced with Seb's and he bit gently on his lower lip. He could hear the whispers of people behind him, and he cracked open one eye in time to see at least three sets of girls go by with faces bright red. _Perfect_.

With a final suckle on his husband's tongue, Seb broke it, pulling back very slowly but keeping his head close to Jim's. "I love you," he whispered, lacing their fingers together. "How'd we do?"

"At least fifteen pairs of knickers burst into flames," Jim said, smirking cheekily.

"Bet we can do better. How sickly sweet can you handle today?"

He wrinkled his nose. "I don't know... too sweet and I'll get ill."

"Then I'll take care of the sweet. You can be the spice." Smiling, he kissed Jim once more and started up the Royal Mile. "Now then... I'll get you anything you want today, my treat."

"But I already _have_ everything I want," Jim said, squeezing Seb's hand.

"Then let me spoil you rotten, Magpie. I've got an unlimited budget and the perfect man to spend it on."

Letting out a sigh of mock-resignation, Jim chuckled. "I guess I can let you do that," he said. "Now come on, 'Bastian. Let's go."

oOoOo

It was a fantastic day spent wandering and shopping, the two men holding hands almost the entire time. Seb insisted on a cashmere scarf and hat to match his tartan and found a perfect black one for Jim. They ate lunch in a little cafe, feeding each other, sharing glances and grins; early in the afternoon, they realized that they were right outside one of the clubs from the night before, the one where Seb had danced with the girl.

Jim raised an eyebrow. "Well... here we are again."

"Huh. What d'you know. Good memories from here."

That one eyebrow arched a little higher and a smirk formed. "Reeeeally..."

"Yep. I seem to remember someone getting very jealous and fairly dragging me back to the hotel and fucking me extremely well... so yes. Good memories."

''Mmmm... yes, I think that did happen. Although maybe you could use a refresher?" Jim tugged on Seb's hand and pulled him into an alleyway, making sure to stay in the shadows, where they wouldn't be seen.

The older man growled with anticipation as he crushed Jim against the wall, claiming his mouth hungrily. "Why the sudden-call for-alley sex?"

"I've been wanting to drag you into an alley since I saw you in that damned _kilt_ ," Jim snarled, moving so that Seb was the one against the wall. He sucked and kissed roughly at the skin of his husband's neck, being careful not to leave too many marks.

"Mission accomplished, then," Seb purred, loosening his scarf and tilting his head. "I can hide marks. Make as many as you want, luv."

Jim redoubled his efforts and bit down hard, rumbling a noise deep in his chest and throat. He pressed his hips into Seb's and rocked gently against him. The sniper scooped up his husband, wrapping Jim's legs around his waist. "Let me fuck you into the wall Jim. _Please_."

"Oh yessss..." he hissed, linking his ankles and wrapping his arms around Seb's neck before tugging on his golden curls. "Take me _hard_."

It took a few minutes of shifting and tugging, but Seb finally got Jim's jeans and pants off, draping them over his shoulder and linking his husband's legs back around his waist _underneath_ his kilt. Rummaging in his sporran, the blonde pulled out a packet of lube, smirking naughtily as he poured the contents on his arousal, slicking himself up and bracing Jim against the wall. The consulting criminal chuckled softly. "Fucking boy scout you are... always prepared," he said, his erection bobbing as he shifted to try and get closer to Seb.

"Figured it was the perfect place to keep it," the sniper murmured, lifting Jim easily by the hips and setting him on the tip of his own slick cock. Inch by inch, he slid his husband down, impaling him until the blonde was completely buried, biting his lip to keep from moaning. Jim sucked in a breath through his clenched teeth as Seb sank into him. Hooking his fingers into claws, he dragged Seb closer and began to arch and move against him, wanting him so badly that he thought he was going to scream.

"Hold on and _keep silent_ ," Sebastian hissed, grasping Jim's hip with one hand and the back of his head with the other before snapping his own hips sharply.

Jim nearly bit through his lip as Seb moved, his face contorted in pleasure, holding tightly on to his lover. Sebby continued pounding and thrusting roughly, nibbling on Jim's ear as he did so. "I-love-you-like-this... buried-in-you-over-and-over... at- _my_ -mercy... so- _tight_ -around-me... I-do-so- _love_ -fucking-you."

Jim moaned. "And-I-love-being-fucked-by-you... impaled-on-your-cock... helpless-underneath-you," he murmured.

"You-like-how-hard-and-thick-you-make-me?"

Jim arched as Seb hit that one spot inside him that made his nerve endings go alight. " _Yes_!"

"Head-on-my-shoulder," the blonde whispered, shifting so that both of his hands were gripping Jim's hips, holding the man completely still, and driving up relentlessly, pounding over and over into Jim's prostate. He did as he was told, resting his head on Seb's shoulder as he thrust upwards into him. He hissed and snarled, sinking his teeth into the skin covered by the black pullover that Seb wore.

"Tissues-in-the-sporran... no-spilling-on-the-kilt."

Jim fumbled with the foxfur pouch and managed to pull out the package of tissues, holding them at the ready as he felt his climax approaching.

"My-Magpie... c'mon-cum-for- _me_!"

With a strangled moan, Jim let go, bucking his hips upward as he came into the tissues, clenching and spasming around Seb, willing him to let go as well.

Shuddering, his thrusts going completely erratic, Sebastian followed, his gasp stifled as he got a mouthful of Jim's scarf. The Irishman wound a hand through Seb's hair, feeling him spill inside him. "That's it, my Tiger..." he purred in the older man's ear, running his tongue along his jaw.

The blonde whimpered softly, nuzzling his husband's damp skin. "F-fuck, Jimmy... what you _do_ to me." He kept his hold on the smaller man for a few minutes until his legs were steady enough to lower Jim to the ground.

Jim used a few more of the tissues to clean himself up so he wouldn't have a telling wet spot in his trousers, panting slightly as he rearranged himself. He watched as Sebby merely cleaned himself up and let the kilt fall back into place. "Hm. Might have to get myself one... easy access and easy cleanup," he said, smirking as he snaked his hand under the kilt for a quick pinch at Seb's arse.

The sniper growled, deliberately mooning his husband as he bent to check his shoes were tied properly. "Cheeky bastard. Well, got myself a 'Ramsey' tartan, so we just have to make sure we don't get you one from a rival clan."

"Yes, but I'm _your_ cheeky bastard," Jim said. "Now let's go... sights to be seen, things to be done."

"People to be done," Sebastian added, lacing their fingers together again.

"Well, we just did that, and I don't like to share," Jim said, idly rubbing the skin of Seb's forefinger with his thumb.

"Doesn't mean you can't do me again later, luv." The blonde watched Jim's thumb move, nearly purring. "Wish we did this more often."

Jim smiled softly and nodded. "A well-earned vacation," he said.

"Yeah, that, but hand holding. I... I really like it, Jimmy. And I see you managed to get the hand with my ring," he teased, swooping down to kiss Jim's temple.

Jim lifted the hand he held and pressed a kiss to the back of it. "Mhm," he hummed. "Nice piece of jewelry, wonder who gave it to you?" he jibed gently.

"This Irishman I know. Calls me 'Tiger.'"

"Sounds interesting. You must be fond of him..."

Seb's blue eyes misted slightly as he stared down the road, just able to see the edge of the city. "He's the best thing that ever happened to me. I think he's gorgeous even when he doesn't. He's still a bit scrawny, but I have my work cut out making sure he eats. He's a phenomenal fuck and a dark and twisted soul. I'd die for him without thinking about it, and if I could only save one of us, it would be him. Every time."

Jim swallowed hard. "Well... guess that about covers that, then. Funny you should talk about that ring, because I have one of my own that's important to me as well," he said, lifting his own left hand, watching the sunlight glint off the cool metal and stones.

"Wow, talk about blood red stones. Secret admirer give you that?"

"Well... not so secret. Someone _very_ important to me. My right hand, my guardian and protector, the person I love and trust most. He's prickly and difficult at times, but he's got a soft side that he lets only me see. He cares for me, even when I feel like I don't deserve it, and he'd do anything for me. Just as I would do anything for him. If there ever came a time where we were in danger... his life over mine. Any day. Every day. Always," Jim said quietly.

The battle-hardened sniper suddenly found himself forcing back tears of emotion. He pulled them both to a stop and faced his husband. "You _always_ deserved to be cared for and loved, Magpie. And as long as it's in my power, I'll do it for you. Whatever you want, whatever you need. It's you and me."

Jim took his free hand and cupped Seb's face with it. "The same goes for me, Tiger. Anything and everything. I'd burn the world, if that's what you wanted," he murmured.

Tilting his head so that he was leaning into Jim's palm, Seb closed his eyes, a few tears breaking through. "I don't care what happens to the fucking world as long as you're right here."

"And as long as you're with me, my love. My dear, my heart, my only," Jim said, wiping away the tears before pressing a gentle kiss to his husband's mouth; not a claiming one, not one of possession or want or lust... a kiss that was meant to reassure and to reaffirm... a kiss that said the three words they rarely uttered.

Sebastian smiled against Jim's lips. "I love you too."

Jim let out a long sigh, smiling gently. "Good."

"And I always will."


	3. Top Five

"I... am going... to _die_..." Jim panted as they walked up towards Arthur's Seat. "This... ruddy... _hill_... is too... damn.... _steep_."

Sebastian glanced back at his husband, snickering. "You utter whimp. See, _this_ is why I say you need to work out more."

Jim made a very rude gesture with his fingers. "Fuck off. Don't have time."

"It's called making time. And staying healthy. And a good excuse to see me shirtless."

Jim grumbled and growled the rest of the hike, collapsing on the somewhat flat surface at the top when they finally reached it. He caught his breath for a minute, then stood, the wind whipping through his dark hair as he surveyed the land. "Well... that hike may be murder, but the _view_..." he said.

Seb stretched, cracking his back as the wind whipped around them. He found himself having to hold his kilt down, his hair blowing all around his face. "You can see for ages," he breathed.

"I know..." Jim set his foot on a protruding rock, fists on his hips. "Master of all that I see!" he said, grinning cockily.

The sniper snorted, doubling over with laughter until he sank to his knees. "K-King Jim," he gasped out, his mirth vanishing as he got an idea. Shifting to one knee, he bowed his head. "My Lord."

Jim tilted his head, looking at the gorgeous sight that was his Tiger, knelt in homage. "My Knight," he said, his voice cool and regal.

"What is your bidding, my Liege?"

"Rise, my Tiger. You are too proud a warrior to be on your knees. Unless you are before me. That's an exception," Jim said, smirking.

"I shall always bow to you, My Most Noble Lord," Sebastian replied, taking Jim's hand and kissing the ring on his finger.

"Good." He flipped his hand so that it was cupping Seb's chin. "My most loyal and true Knight... how perfect you are."

The sniper pressed his lips to the Irishman's palm. "Only because I have a perfect King to serve, one who gives me purpose and leads me true."

"Hmm, I suppose. Only because he has his Knight to give him purpose as well."

"And what purpose dost I provide for thou, my Lord?"

Jim shivered as Seb's voice rolled around the archaic words. "Thou givest me hope when I have none, protect my life and my limbs. Thou art mine heart, my fair and won'drous Knight," he said.

"I say mine heart has been captured by thy grace and charm, thy looks and mind. Thou hast ensnared me and are most worthy of my love for thee. I am ever yours to command, my Lord, Liege, and King."

"Good," Jim said, his voice low, before kneeling and kissing Seb senseless. The blonde man lost himself in the embrace, letting Jim dominate and control everything this time. He simply held him in his arms and opened his mouth to be guided by his husband.

Jim moved his mouth deftly, hard at first before making the kiss into something soft and unbearably sweet. Sebastian whimpered when it softened, stroking his tongue slowly against Jim's. He could hear his heart pounding in his ears, the taste and scent of the younger man surrounding him and filling him.

After a good while, Jim broke the kiss and wrapped his arms around Seb, holding him close, listening to the wind whipping around him and the sound of the sniper's heartbeat.

"That's in the top five best kisses of my life, Jimmy."

"Top Five?"

"Yep. Top Five. Wanna know what they are?"

Jim's lips quirked into a smile. "By all means, tell me."

"Fifth: the day you came back from the dead. Fourth: Our wedding. Third: When we finally got back together after the Big Fight. Second: This one just now, and the First: well, that would be every single kiss the day you first told me you loved me."

Jim found himself suddenly blinking back tears. "My Seb... oh, my love," he said, his voice choked with emotion. "What I did to deserve you, I'll never know."

The blonde pulled back, cradling Jim's face in his hands. His thumbs brushed aside a few tears that graced Jim's cheeks. "You hired me. You rescued me. That's what you did. Now your turn. Top five kisses." He pulled the smaller man close, sitting down on the ground with Jim's back against his own broad chest.

The Irishman paused and thought, speaking slowly when he finally did begin to talk. "Five: The day I brought you back after Belize. Four: Our wedding. Three: The day I came back after those years away from you. Two: After you woke me from a nightmare, and the first kiss... the _very_ first kiss we had. When I knew you loved me back."

Seb felt his throat close up, so he dropped his lips to Jim's neck, kissing it gently. "It's me who doesn't deserve you. You are... Jim, you are the best thing that's ever happened to me. You _are_ my life."

Jim nuzzled back into Seb. "As you are mine. I realize we say it often, but I mean it, 'Bastian. You... you fill the empty spaces that made me hollow for so long."

"'Your strength,' my King. You make me better, stronger. You give me reason to work, to live, to fight, to love. It's you. And I know we say the 'mine' thing a lot, but... it's reassuring for me. It reminds me that it's true. I _still_ can't believe that we've been together for ten years, married for nearly four of those."

The smaller man nodded. "How quickly time passes," he said. Then he turned and pressed a kiss to Seb's jaw. "C'mon... the sun's going to set soon, and I don't feel like wandering down the hill in the dark. Let's get back to the hotel."

"Downhill is always easier than up," Sebastian murmured, helping Jim up and then standing himself. "Anything special you want to do tonight?" he asked as they started back down.

"Anything's special, as long as I have you, Seb," Jim said. Holding his hand, they started back down, coming back to the level with the common folk after being raised to the height of kings for a day.


	4. Sleeping, Dreaming, Dancing

The next morning dawned sunny, much to Sebastian's surprise. He stirred and stretched slowly, the sun creeping in through the thick curtains. Once he'd managed to crack his stiff joints, he curled up around Jim and tried to go back to sleep, breathing in his husband's scent.

Jim was up when felt the change and shift in Seb's breathing as he woke, heard his joints pop as he stretched. He smiled as he felt his husband curl up around him once more, his breath tickling the back of his neck as he tried to reclaim sleep. "You know, I don't think it'll work, but I say damn the sun, we can just stay here all day," Jim murmured.

"Seb isn't home right now, but if you'd like to leave a message-"

Chuckling, the smaller man rolled over and kissed Seb soundly, their movements languid and lazy from sleep. "There... left my message," he said after he broke contact with Seb's lips.

"Mmmmm, and a very sweet one at that," the blonde purred, holding Jim tighter. "If we do stay in all day... what'll we do?"

"Whatever the hell we want, that's obvious," Jim said, nuzzling Seb's shoulder.

"Meaning I'll fall asleep, and you'll try and sneak some work in."

"Nope. I actually didn't bring anything with me to do my work on. Not even my phone."

Seb raised an incredulous eyebrow. "You left your _mobile_ back at the flat?"

"I did at that."

"Well, well... really is a first time for everything." The older man held Jim closer, his lips trailing on the soft skin of the pale man's neck.

"Mmmm... and I think I might join you in that idea of sleeping... I don't know when I've slept this well for this long," Jim admitted, shivering slightly as Seb's lips found the delicate skin of his throat.

"Y'know what makes it easier to sleep?" Seb purred, sliding slowly down Jim's body. "Early morning blow job."

The smaller man chuckled roughly in his throat. "Hmmm... I suppose it does."

"You'll sleep-so well," the blonde murmured, kissing down Jim's stomach to his morning erection and lapping at the heated flesh, dragging his tongue up and down in slow, lazy patterns.

Jim uttered a short cry and bucked his hips slightly, his hands going down and winding in Seb's messy golden curls, further adding to their disarray. "Ooh, Tiger..." he purred, "the things you do to me..."

"Like this?" The sniper's mouth closed over Jim's tip and sucked hard for a few seconds before he kissed back down and lavished his attention on the Irishman's balls.

Jim whined and groaned and thrust upwards as Seb deemed it fit to tease him. "Please, love," he begged, a breathless gasp, "please don't tease me."

"But it's fuuuuuuun."

"It may be fun, but wait 'til it happens to you. Then you won't be saying that," he grumbled.

"I'm showing you how much I love you," Seb mumbled around a mouthful of flesh before moving up and swallowing Jim down in one go.

Jim cursed as Seb swallowed him to the hilt. "Oh _fuck_ ," he groaned. "I already know, but I do so enjoy your reminders."

The blonde chuckled, his tongue laving the vein along the base of Jim's length while he bobbed up and down, his hands slowly stroking from Jim's legs, up his torso to his nipples, and back down again. Jim bucked and hissed as Seb worked on him. "Oh... oh my _Tiger_ ," he gasped. "You- _ah_!-are _perfect_."

Purring in earnest, Sebastian sped up, taking Jim deeper and deeper each time, one hand teasingly sliding down between his husband's legs to stroke along his perineum and flick at his hole. He whined as he felt Seb's hands move lower against him. "Fuck, Sebby, not gonna last much longer," he said.

 _That's the point_. To finish off the younger man, Sebastian sucked him in to the back of his throat and swallowed at the same time that he wormed his finger through the first tight ring of muscle, rocking it ever so gently. Jim arched and shuddered as if he'd shake apart, growling low in his throat as he spent himself in Seb's mouth. He collapsed back on the bed, panting and sweating lightly as his heart thundered in his chest, coming down from the rush of his climax. Smirking, Seb cleaned Jim off as he sent soft, catching every last drop and wiping his finger off on the sheet. He slid back up the bed and cradled Jim against his chest. "Back to sleep, m'love."

"Oooh no. Not quite yet," Jim said.

"Ohhh, yes. I just made sure you're running on endorphins and oxytocin. You suck me off now, then you won't sleep."

He pouted. "But I want to return the favor! And make you sleepy as well."

Sebby started chuckling, rolling Jim to face him and to kiss the frown away. The smaller man took the gentle kisses, stealing his hand down between them and grasping Seb's manhood, tugging gently.

"Oi!!!" Seb yelped, twitching, but his husband just recaptured his mouth, swallowing his protests which were growing more and more feeble by the second.

Jim chuckled as he stroked and fondled Seb's erection, circling his thumb over the sensitive head as he squeezed it softly. "A compromise," he murmured.

"J-Jimmy... ohdeargod... fuckityouwin! Need your mouth _now_."

Jim slowly slid down Seb's body to kiss the tip of his cock, flicking his tongue over it before sucking it into his mouth and circling it with his tongue. The blonde's fingers instantly tangled in Jim's hair, adding pressure to the back of his head.

Jim pulled his head up and his mouth off of Seb. "Ah ah ah... _I_ set the pace, Tiger-love," he said, raising an eyebrow and smirking before resuming his previous position and setting a torturously slow rhythm. The sniper bit his lip and moaned, shaking with the effort of holding still. Jim swallowed Seb slowly down to the hilt and made a pleased moan as he continued to suckle, his hands drifting up and down his husband's flanks with teasingly light touches.

"Oh yeah... right there... bloody wanker I _love_ you..."

Jim let out a chuckle as he swallowed twice, letting the muscles of his throat contract around Seb's cock. The blonde gasped, jerking up before sinking back into the mattress with a moan. "Love your mouth... love your eyes... love you wrapped around my cock... so gorgeous... _Jimmy_..."

The criminal's hands went to grasp Seb's hips, holding them tightly as he continued to bob and suck. Then they moved down to caress his balls, fondling them as he continued to work his husband to his peak.

"Almost-guh-almost there-Jimmy-I'm-I'm-"

With a hard suck and a swallow and a gentle squeeze, Jim willed Seb to come for him, looking into his eyes through his lashes. That did it. "JIM!" he cried, letting go and spilling down the younger man's throat as chemicals flooded his brain and he completely relaxed. The consulting criminal smirked as he drank up what Seb gave him, then cleaned off his softening length and released it with a slick pop. He worked his way back up to Seb, kissing him soundly, letting him taste himself on his tongue. Sebastian pulled Jim on top of him, the smaller man sprawled across his chest as they kissed. "Guess we're staying in bed for a bit."

"And I don't mind that at all. Sometimes it's nice to just do... nothing. A sweet, blissful nothing. No work, no responsibilities, no one to answer to or kill..." he drawled as he snuggled into Seb's warmth.

"Okay... who are you and what have you done with my husband?" Seb asked, running his hand through Jim's tousled hair.

Jim chuckled and gently swatted Seb's shoulder. "Shut it or I'll skin you. There, better?" he asked.

"Mhmm, definitely better. Now..." He rolled onto his side and caged Jim against his body. "Go back to sleep. I was having a lovely dream where I rescued you from the enemy, and we had a hot fucking shag back home."

Jim snickered. "I was the damsel in distress to your knight in shining armor. Oh good lord. Well, if it makes you feel better, I'll swoon and let you ravish me in your dreams. And I had the best dream earlier as well..." he said as he snuggled back into Seb's body.

"I fully plan to. And what was yours?"

"No dream at all. I didn't dream. And it was _glorious_."

Seb's breath caught in his throat. "I'll dream enough for the both of us. You _deserve_ time off."

Jim turned so that he was facing Seb, winding his arms around his neck. "Don't do too much... you tend to do that... do too much and then you get hurt, and that makes me frantic with worry," he said softly.

The sniper's brow furrowed. "I don't want you to worry about me. Now, go back to sleep or I'm getting you dressed and taking you out. Well, I'm doing that anyway later, but you need your rest."

He hummed and nestled in the circle of Seb's arms, his eyes fluttering shut as he went back to sleep.

oOoOo

Surprisingly, Sebastian didn't fall back to sleep as he'd thought. Instead, he stayed awake and watched Jim sleep. It was a very simple thing that made him feel even closer to the man he was married to, something even more intimate than making love or holding hands. Jim asleep was Jim without much of the years on him, without worries, the frown lines in his forehead smoothed out and the hint of a smile at the corner of his mouth. It was a calm and peaceful Jim, the Jim he might have been without everything else. His husband shifted and sighed in his sleep, settling closer to Seb, drawing in his scent as he breathed quietly. Something tugged at the older man's heart as he very, very slowly held Jim tighter to his chest; the slightest movement usually woke the man; Jim returned the favor, his grip on Seb tightening as well, resting his forehead on the skin of his chest.

"Shhhhhh, I've gotcha. Tiger's not going anywhere," he whispered softly. "Sleep now... let your mind relax... you're safe."

"Mmm.... my Tiger," Jim murmured in his sleep. "Gonna... get all the... kittens..."

"Kittens?" It took everything Seb had not to laugh. "Why kittens?"

"Becauuuuse," he drawled, still sleeping. "They're just so  damn... _fluffy_."

 _Oh god, he's finally cracked_. "What about your Tiger? Talk about Tiger."

"Mmmhm. My Tiger's the fluffiest kitty of them all..."

"I'm _not_ fluffy."

"You are... your hair's all fluffy and curly and pretty."

"That all you like? Just my hair?"

"Nooooo, don't be stupid. My Tiger has the wickedest mouth and the strongest hands... such lovely hands. And a killer arse," he said, leering slightly.

"You are horny even when you sleep, luv." Seb gently kissed Jim's hair. "Sleep, sleep now. Tiger's taking you out again tonight. Tiger wants this to be a special trip."

"Already is... we're together. That makes it special."

"But even more than that. Sleep so he can dance with _you_ tonight... so he can dance _for_ you tonight."

Jim's sleeping face crumpled into a slight scowl. "Nooo... no more dancing. Bad idea."

 _Nononono, oh shit_ "No, it'll be fine. Tiger only has eyes for you tonight. He won't even let go of your hand. Besides, he wants to put on a show."

Jim still scowled. "Fine."

"Tiger's gonna dance real special for you tonight, just the way you like. Then you get to have him as you please. He even brought his box of _toys_ with him."

Jim's eyebrows went up and his scowl melted. "Mmmmmm.... playtime. Get to... build a tower. Tommy always steals the blocks," he mumbled, snuggling into Seb more.

"I love you. And I'll be here."

Jim said nothing, his breathing deep and even as he slept on.

oOoOo

Sebastian let him sleep until well into the afternoon, amazed that he wasn't bored at all. Jim spoke a bit more, but he didn't wake, and none of his dreams seemed to really hurt or terrify him; thankfully, there were no nightmares. At a quarter six, Seb gently kissed his husband, lips sliding slowly against each other. "Time to get up. Time to wake up, Magpie, my songbird."

Jim groaned. "Five more minutes, Mummy..." he mumbled.

"Does Mummy kiss you on the lips, my little songbird? Tiger wants to play now."

Jim slowly woke up, blinking blearily. He smiled. "Hullo, gorgeous," he murmured, his voice rough from sleep.

Seb continued kissing him. "Hey there... Sleeping Beauty."

He snorted. "Oi, m' not a princess. I'm the monster... grrrr," he growled, showing his teeth in a mock-snarl, aiming a gentle bite at Seb's throat as he rolled him over and straddled him, pinning his wrists into the mattress.

The blonde felt his libido kick up a few notches, smirking up at his husband. "If that makes _me_ the princess, then you're in for a fight," he teased.

Jim laughed. "Like you'd be the princess... you'd be the knight, obviously."

"Yes, yes, we've been over this. Your knight, sworn to you, all that fun stuff. Now, are you gonna let me up so we can go out?"

"Oooh, fine," Jim pouted slightly, swinging off of Seb so he could stand and stretch, letting out a contented moan as his vertebrae cracked and realigned.

"Every time you do that little pout I wanna kiss it right off your lips." Seb followed suit, cracking his back, neck, arms, legs, and fingers before pulling Jim back in for a hug. "Now then: shower, hair, and then get dressed. The navy blue top tonight. Dinner and dancing and then back here for a special treat."

Jim nodded and sauntered to the shower, putting an extra sway in his hips as he walked, smirking to himself. Seb laid out their clothes for the night, chuckling softly to himself before joining his husband in the shower.

oOoOo

Jim screwed up his face at the noise of the club, the music making it impossible to hear anything unless Seb was in his ear and shouting. But true to his word, Seb didn't leave Jim's sight, nor did he let the Irishman leave his. Buying them each a few shots of Jameson and drinking at the same time, Sebastian led the younger man out onto the floor and pulled him close; then he began to _dance_.

Jim gasped as Seb danced for him, all arched back and grinding hips, wandering hands and sleek muscles working under the tightness of his clothes. He rumbled a growl in his chest that his husband may not have been able to hear, but would definitely been able to feel. Jim reciprocated, bucking and moving against him, letting his hands drift along Seb's body and tangle in his curls, then run along his neck, feeling his pulse under the skin already slick with sweat. He took it back... dancing wasn't that bad of an idea after all. The sniper smirked, his expression hungry as he stared down at Jim, looking at him like his prey. His hands reciprocated, sliding down Jim's bum to cup the firm buttocks and grind him harder against the older man's body for a few seconds before spinning him around and yanking him back. Shifting his stance, he made sure his crotch ground hard against Jim's clothed arse while his hands gripped his husband's hips and his lips danced lightly over his salty neck.

The smaller man shuddered and groaned as he felt Seb move against him, his cock hardening underneath his clothes, straining at the fabric of his jeans. It was like they were fucking without being naked, and there was something so erotic about it, about doing this in public, where anyone could see them and no one really cared... it just turned him on more. He wound his arms up to wrap around Seb's neck, tugging gently at his hair.

"You see? You see why I like this?" Seb growled, his voice competing with the music. He snapped his hips and nipped at Jim's damp skin.

Jim nodded and spun in Seb's arms, grinding against him so he could feel exactly what he was doing to him. "Want to go back to the hotel now," he said (more like yelled), tugging his husband closer to him. Sebastian nodded, lacing their fingers together and pulling Jim from the club.

oOoOo

The younger man snarled at the cab, wanting it to go faster, to get them back to the hotel quicker. He tapped his feet, his impatience burning through him.

"Calm down, luv, no use getting worked up. I have one more surprise before we get down to it."

Jim raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"

The cab pulled up, and the sniper chucked a few bills at the driver, leading Jim up to their room. He shut the door and led Jim to the chair. "Sit here, darling, and watch your Sebby."

Jim smirked and sprawled out in the chair the way he knew Seb liked, his legs long and lean, slightly spread to show off to his husband just what he did to him.

Replaying the music from the club in his head (it had been songs he'd known very well), Sebastian began to dance. It started in his hips as they pulsed and gyrated to the beat in his mind, movements that were soon followed by his body. His blue eyes were dark and hooded, his hands roaming all over his muscled body, the tight, black jeans and navy shirt that matched Jim's leaving very little to the imagination.

Jim shifted in his seat as Seb danced just for _him_. His dark eyes went darker, half-closed as he saw his husband move and gyrate, pulse and arch, just for _him_. He wanted to follow the path of Seb's hands with his teeth and tongue, but waited... after all, he wouldn't want to spoil his fun by pouncing too early. Shuffling closer, Seb braced his hands on the back of the chair, his arms over Jim's shoulders and taking most of his weight so that when he began to dance in Jim's lap, he didn't crush his lover. The blonde threw his head back, his mouth slack and eyes closed now as he ground against the prominent bulge in Jim's trousers. "Hands... only... for now..." he whispered, his voice breathy and low.

Jim hissed through his teeth as Seb ground against him. His hands started wandering, tugging at the shirt until it hung free from his trousers, deftly undoing the buttons so that it hung open, exposing the gloriously muscled body that was his husband's. His fingers started playing up and down Seb's sides, stroking along his ribs before coming up to tweak and pinch and gently twist Seb's nipples. The older man gasped then groaned, his lead lolling from side to side. For all intents and purposes, anyone watching would have thought he was actually fucking himself on Jim at that moment.

Jim's hands wandered down to grasp Seb's hips, holding him close as he began to slowly buck and grind upwards, rubbing the bulge of his still-clothed erection against Seb, moaning at the torturous friction that was the movement of the rough cloth of his jeans against his cock. That was what Seb had been waiting for. Slowing his movements, he moved off of Jim and walked a bit stiffly over to his bag, pulling out the box of toys Jim had given him as a wedding gift, bringing it back to the man and kneeling as best he could with his trousers and arousal giving him trouble. "I present this to you, James Moriarty, to use as you see fit. Whatever you desire tonight shall be yours for the taking and using."

Jim quickly toed off his shoes and socks, rubbing his bare feet against the bulge in Seb's trousers before taking the box and lifting the lid. "Hmmm.... decisions, decisions," he murmured as he perused the contents. Finally, he lifted one thing out and grinned evilly. "Strip, Tiger. And be quick about it."

Eyes widening as a groan bubbled from his chest, Seb stood and stripped, dropping his clothes in a small pile on one of the shelves reserved for dirty laundry.

"Hold on to the headboard, Tiger... you're in for a _ride_ ," Jim drawled as he stripped as well, then fetched the bottle of lube from his suitcase. He slicked up his fingers, taking his time to make the lube warm before slicking up the vibrator as well. He straddled Seb and kissed him deeply as he slowly ran one finger around the tight ring of muscle, before sliding it gently in and curling it. Scrabbling for purchase on the wood behind his head, Seb spread his legs as much as he could, breathing deeply to make sure he was relaxed. He shivered when Jim inserted his first finger, eyeing the toy in his husband's other hand warily. It was a bit thicker than Jim and had ridges and bumps on it, but he also knew his husband was a master of all forms of torture, both painful and pleasurable.

Jim added a second finger, then a third. He worked them inside his husband, pumping and curling them, making sure that Seb was relaxed and open enough for what he had planned. When he was sure he wasn't going to hurt him, he slowly removed his fingers and replaced them with the vibrator, going slowly as he inserted it inside his lover. The blonde whimpered and keened, breathing deep and staying relaxed as he was pressed open and filled; the vibrator was a bit more unforgiving than human flesh, and certainly a bit colder. Making sure that Seb was comfortable, Jim began pressing kisses along the tops of his thighs and his hips. He gave the vibrator a quick twist inside Seb, making sure it was where he wanted it. Once he was certain... he flicked the little button on the bottom, turning it on to its lowest setting.

Sebastian gasped, eyes going wide. He could feel the vibrations everywhere in his body as they radiated from his arse; he couldn't even think about what would happen when Jim got to his prostate with the toy. Hell, he'd be lucky not to pass out from the orgasm of this, but damn if he wasn't enjoying himself. The sight of Jim before him, smirking like he'd just won the lottery and holding the toy buried in him steady, the Irishman's cock at attention and leaking... Sebastian now had enough wank material for half a year.

Jim was smirking to beat the band, especially as he worked the vibrator a little deeper into Seb. "Oh, aren't you just delicious," he purred. "Spread out and opened before me, hard and twitching... panting and sweating..."

"Y-yes... yes Jim..."

He flicked the button up another notch, his free hand going down to stroke his cock which was so hard that it was nearly painful. "My beautiful Tiger, my gorgeous assassin, my _husband_."

The toy was shaking faster and harder now, its tip very close to the sensitive bundle of nerves that most likely would undo him instantly tonight. Sebastian could hardly keep his eyes on Jim once he started wanking, the visual pushing his mind further out of control. Jim pushed the toy almost all the way in, feeling it hit against that bundle of nerves just as he flicked it to its highest setting. His hand worked faster at his cock, tugging and stroking. "Come for me, my pet, my love. Come for _me_."

Seb's eyes nearly bugged from his head as the toy mercilessly stimulated his prostate, the sensations throwing him over the edge as he came. His vision went white and he shrieked, coming all over his chest and even hitting some of Jim's skin. The toy kept pushing and pushing, his aching cock twitching and pulsing with the final dregs of his release even as his body continued to spasm. Jim quickly shut the toy off and slid it out of Seb, watching his husband going over the edge making him lose control as well. He snarled and cursed as he spent himself, coming all over Seb's chest and belly.

The sniper gasped for air, all of the tension in his body completely gone. "G-gotta... l-l-lemme... d-do that... t'you... some-time."

Jim panted, his legs quivering as he slumped on the bed next to Seb. "Yeah... not now, but... yeah. Soon."

The older man chuckled weakly, soon giggling uncontrollably in his post-coital state. "I'ma mess."

The younger man snickered. "That you are. Lemme go get a flannel to clean you up, love."

"Please... I'll just... lay here."

"You do that," Jim said as he wobbled to the bathroom and got a wet washcloth, bringing it back and tenderly cleaning off Seb's skin.

Sebastian started purring, a smile tugging at his lips while Jim cleaned him up. "Can still r'member when you'd shove me out of bed b'cause I'd stain the sheets, back ages 'n ages ago."

"Mmm... before we were wedded in bliss."

"Bliss, yeah, sure. Married you b'cause I love you."

"Married you 'cause I love you too, 'Bastian," Jim murmured, pressing soft kisses to his chest.

"I... sounds really dumb but for the longest time I just wanted you to say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime. Say the word and I will follow you. Say you'll share with me each night, each morning. Anywhere you go let me go too... that's all I ask of you."

Jim blinked... and then he started laughing hysterically. He crumpled to the floor and wheezed, his face turning bright red. "Oh... my God. Tiger... you've gone _soft_. Quoting _Phantom of the Opera_ at me!"

"Wait, I what? Jimmy, the hell are you-" Then the words he'd just said echoed in his head, and the sniper groaned, curling up under the blankets and hiding his head beneath a pillow. "I'm not soft," he replied, his voice muffled. "I-I just... you gave me such a good orgasm I couldn't think straight."

Jim crawled up on the bed, still laughing slightly, flopping on top of Seb. "Doesn't matter to me if you've gone soft or not. You're still my Tiger, my lover, the best thing that's ever happened to me or ever will. Now come out of that cocoon; you're a Tiger _cat_ , not a Tiger _moth_."

"Even if I quote stupid, sappy musicals at you without meaning to?"

"Yes, even if you quote stupid, sappy musicals at me."

Slowly, Seb poked his head out from underneath the pillow, tilting his head to look up at the smaller man. "Didn' even realize I knew that song. I mean... saw _Les Mis_ while you were gone, but that was for a job. Nearly blew it, in fact."

Jim's breath caught. He knew that particular musical and he could guess the song that Seb was talking about. "Don't worry, dearest. I came back to you, from beyond the barricade."

"I... god, I lost it. I completely lost it and had to duck out to the loo. I'd forgotten about that 'til now, mostly 'cause I know you don't like hearing about me in that time... oh _Jimmy_."

Jim held Seb tightly, stroking his hair gently. "Shh, Seb, shhh. It's all right, I've got you."

"I k-know... God, r-ruining this... was g-going so _well_ -"

"Stop that, stop that right now," Jim said sternly. "You're not ruining anything."

"But. I'm. _Crying_."

"Doesn't matter. What sort of husband would I be if I got mad at you because you cried over something that still is clearly bothering you?"

"I dunno. One who isn't good with feelings?"

Jim flinched slightly but hid it well... he wasn't good with feelings. At all. "Still. I've got you and I'm not going to let you go," he said gently.

"'Kay." Seb flipped out the light and tucked them both in, clutching Jim close to him as he struggled to lock up the three years back behind his mental walls. Jim sighed and held Seb close, waiting until he was fast asleep to fret and worry. _What kind of husband was he, indeed._


	5. The Lost Years

The nightmares came back with a vengeance that night, jolting Sebastian from a deep sleep and leaving him in a cold sweat. He lay still for a long time, listening to Jim breathe before spooning against him and going back to sleep, but it was around three in the morning when Jim woke up from a nightmare of his own... in it, he woke up alone in the flat, finding a note that detailed his current situation: Seb had left him for someone else, someone better with feelings. He stifled his sobs by biting his fist until he could get in control of himself. He slowly slid out of bed so he could wash his face and grab a quick drink of water. He scowled at his face in the mirror: too pale, the chin too weak, the dark stubble and the purple bruises in the delicate flesh under his eyes coming back again. He sighed before he turned away from the mirror, padded back to the bed, and crawled under the sheets again, snuggling up to Seb and his warmth. He tried to go back to sleep, but he ended up watching the sun come up through the curtains, the light changing from a soft, pale grey to white, to pink and orange, to a rich gold as it slid through the gap and touched the opposite wall. Another sunrise, just like many others he had seen. Another dawn, another day.

The older man stirred, his grip around Jim's waist tightening as consciousness returned to him. "Morning, luv," he mumbled, tangling their legs together and snuggling closer.

"Morning," Jim replied softly, his mind still somewhat occupied.

"You sleep okay?"

"Mmm... all right. You?"

"I guess, nightmare. You sure you're okay? You're kinda tense."

"I'm fine, dearest," Jim said, breaking out of his thoughts to cuddle up against Seb and press a kiss to his temple.

"Okay... if you're sure." Sebastian nosed at Jim's hairline, kissing down the side of his face. "Wanna go out and walk around today. No big hikes this time, promise."

He chuckled softly. "Good. My legs _still_ hurt from that one."

"Well, a good stretch will make them stop." Grinning, Seb stole a teasing kiss and rolled out of bed, heading for the bathroom to wash his face; he noticed the towel had been moved and the dried drops of water on the counter. "You didn't sleep much last night, did you, Magpie?" he called softly.

Jim sighed and shrugged. "I guess," he replied.

Seb rinsed his face and brushed his teeth quick before walking back into the room and finding Jim sitting on the edge of the bed. "Did... is it something I did? Something I can fix?"

"No, no, not your fault, nothing you did," Jim said, standing to get dressed.

Shaking his head and dropping the subject, Seb followed suit, dressing and grabbing his wallet and room key. "You ready?"

Jim gave a half-smile and nodded. "Lead on, Tiger."

oOoOo

They crossed the Northbridge into the newer section of town, holding hands and exploring. Putting his worries to the back of his mind, Seb led the into the shopping mall where they looked around. He teased Jim about getting a kilt, and they stopped in Poundland for snacks; Seb wanted to have a picnic while it was still sunny. While trying to find their way back out, the blonde spotted a photo booth, and, grinning, dragged Jim in with him.

Jim groaned. "Oh God... Tiger... you can't be serious..."

"Of course I am!"

"All right. I'll do it for you," Jim said with a resigned air as he let Seb drag him into the cramped photo booth.

Grinning like a kid who just found out his school had been blown up, Seb dropped the coins in and beamed as the screen counted down. Jim was taken by surprise as the first flash went off, blinking rapidly.

"You're supposed to make faces at the camera, Jimmy," Seb teased, sticking his tongue out and holding the smaller man close to his side.

Jim raised an eyebrow at Seb. "Really..."

The second picture took. The blonde turned to his husband, smirking. "Yeah, you are. Like right now, I'm thinking about your face the other day in the alleyway..."

Jim cheekily stuck his tongue out as the camera flashed a third time. "Wanker," he said fondly.

"Yes, but I'm _your_ wanker and you looooove me."

"Yes, I do. Now give us a kiss."

Holding the front of Jim's shirt, Seb closed his eyes and kissed him as the final picture took. They didn't break apart right away, the kiss lasting... and lasting. Jim kissed his husband, his fingers winding in his hair and holding fast; it wasn't until they heard someone clearing their throat that they broke apart. "Sorry," Jim drawled, using the tone of voice that said 'except I'm not really sorry at all.'

Giggling, Seb collected their picture strips and pulled Jim from the booth and back out to the street. They took a left, heading towards the edge of town, climbing up to a large, grassy area that had an amazing view of Arthur's Seat and the Salisbury Crags. Setting his coat down as the picnic blanket, Sebastian arranged their lunch of nibbles and soda pop. They sat down and fed each other the snacks, Jim occasionally throwing a grape at Seb to see if he could catch it. When they were done eating, Jim leaned back on his elbows, sighing and admiring the view.

"Whatcha thinkin' about, Jimmy?"

"What you were talking about last night. What... what happened, Sebby? When I was... when I was gone...?" he asked tentatively.

The blonde froze, glancing carefully over at the smaller man, noting that they needed to get more hair dye for him to be up to his usual standards; Jim's roots were very subtly starting to show.  "Are... you want to know?"

"Yeah, I want to know," he said.

"I don't want to... but I'll tell you what I can. It's not... it's not exactly all that great."

"I'm not expecting it to be. Those three years... I call them the Lost Years because I was away from you, Seb. Please... I... I hope you can tell me..."

"I don't think I can look at you while I talk about them, so please know that it's not you. It's me. Okay? I really don't want to hurt you. And I'm terrified you'll leave."

"Not _ever_." Jim said fiercely.

Taking a long pull from his water bottle, Seb closed his eyes and started talking.

"The first few weeks were awful. That's when most of the damage happened to the flat as far as the furniture and glassware are concerned. Each day I'd rip something apart or smash another object and then sob over the pieces. Our pillows were the first to go... my knife shredded them. Found feathers everywhere for weeks after.

It got to be where I couldn't go anywhere without shoes because of all the broken glass, but I didn't care. I'd avoid shoes sometimes so that the glass would cut me, make me feel something again. It's the closest I ever came to cutting as a way of coping with losing you.

I took out huge amounts of money from the bank and stocked up on Scotch, drinking myself into stupors that lasted days or stumbling wasted from the flat and murdering random homeless wretches on the street. If I took a cab, I'd kill the driver if he asked too many questions. I got into bar fights, shunned company, mangled a few whores who tried to make a move on me, puked in the gutter, then stumbled home days later to fall down in the shower and cry it all away.

It took six months before my first job came through. It was a simple enough contract, but it meant I drank at 'The Magpie's Nest' that night. I started drinking there more regularly.

The first anniversary of your death as I told you, I decided to jump off the roof of St. Bart's and I broke the medallion chain that day. I was drunk for a fortnight after that.

The nightmares were terrible, mostly consisting of you dead in my arms or taunting me as you blew your fucking brains out. In others, I couldn't get to you in time, you looking pale and frightened and not like you at all, someone pulling your stings and making you shoot yourself. Alcohol dulled them, made them less vivid, but if I get afraid of losing you, they come back again even worse than before. Now they usually have to do with you leaving me."

He took another sip of water, his throat very dry, before continuing.

"Eighteen months to the day, I had a hit, and the mark looked almost exactly like you. I thought I was losing my mind, and he kept calling me 'Seb'... I snapped. He ended up dead fairly fast, and I smashed the mirror on your dresser that night. That's when I found the letter. Stayed drunk through Christmas that time.

It was two years after your death that I got the hit which landed me with tickets to _Les Miserables_ of all things. Knew nothing about it, but then in Act Two... I came so close to blowing everything. 'Bring Him Home'... I had to run to the loo, thought I was gonna be sick. missed you more than I could fucking stand and tried to take a bottle of pills when I got home after the hit. I had swallowed half of it with a Scotch chaser before I forced myself to vomit in the toilet. I didn't want a slow death. I was already living one.

I still dunno how I survived the third year, I really don't. I guess you can thank your barkeep a bit; he really deserves a huge raise. I told him to fuck off more times than I really care to count, but he was lookin' out for me and on some level it made a difference. Six months until you came back, I started hallucinating, seeing you alive and well everywhere. I thought it was the ecstasy I'd tripped on, so I dropped all drugs but kept the alcohol, but then they didn't stop. I'd wake up and see you next to me, be sitting in the weight room cleaning my guns and you'd be whistling and walking past. So, after several months of this, I decided that on the third anniversary, I'd do it. I'd put a bullet through my brain just as you had so I could join you and we could be together and I wouldn't have to take the slow way to meet you in death. I could hope that your spirit would be there to lead me on and bring me down to Hell with you. No doubt you had beaten the Devil and usurped his place.

I... I had- _have_ a picture of you sleeping that I kept on your side of the bed, said goodnight to it, spoke to it, carried it with me. That was what I bid farewell just before you returned."

Jim listened, his mouth shut tight, but his heart breaking, feeling like it was ripped in two. He had done that. He had _done_ that, all of that, to the man he loved most, to the person he trusted most in this shitty excuse of a world. He opened his mouth to speak, but shut it again, sadness settling like a weight on his shoulders and around his neck. Sebastian continued to stare at the scenery, feeling worse than he had in a very long time. "I told you I didn't want to share that."

"I..." Whatever words Jim had died on his tongue, and he sighed.

A single tear escaped Seb's eyes. "I don't blame you anymore. I forgave you a long time ago."

For Jim, that just made it worse. He felt like absolute shit... he had destroyed Seb, turned him into a mere ghost, a shell, a _shade,_ and he had _forgiven_ him for it. Jim faced away from Seb, the shame just too much. Finally glancing at his husband, Sebastian nearly had a panic attack. "Jim?! Jimmy!!"

Jim barely registered Seb's voice over the roaring in his ears; the blonde moved so that he was directly behind the younger man, reaching out and placing a hand on his husband's shoulder. "Magpie-"

Jim flinched away from his touch. "How can you do it? How the _fuck_ can you do it? How can you still love me after all that I did?" he asked, his voice so low that he could barely hear himself.

Seb's heart sank through his feet. "Because I love you. Because I'm nothing without you. Because living with you is better than everything before I met you and everything I went through when I thought you were dead. I love you because it gives me something to fight for."

"And I don't understand _why_. By all rights, you should loathe me. You should revile me. And I'd understand it if you did."

"And I tried! Why do you think I tore up the flat? I hated that you'd killed yourself and hadn't taken me with you, that you'd left me behind. But then I tried to follow and I couldn't. And then I realized I just wanted you back. And I forgave you. It helped that you did eventually come back, but Jimmy, I would never have said my vows before the registrar if I hadn't forgiven you."

Jim curled up smaller, into a little ball of self-hatred, the enormity of what Seb had done and what _he_ had done to Seb still clouding his mind.

"I _knew_ it. I _knew_ I'd be the one to fuck this up. I'm sorry. Jimmy I'm sorry. There was a _reason_ I didn't want to share. I knew what it would do to you. I didn't want to watch you shatter in front of me."

Jim stood abruptly. "I need to take a walk. I'll be back, I promise it. I swear. I just... I need a moment," he said quietly.

Fighting the panic in his chest, Seb nodded. "I'll stay here. _Please_ come back... or you could tell me what you went through."

Jim shook his head. "Not right now. Need a walk."

"I love you. And I'll wait here."

He nodded absently before he went off, his mind working on overdrive as his feet carried him aimlessly.

Sebastian sat back on his coat, looking at the half empty bags of food and snacks and fruit, the tears he hadn't let himself cry in front of Jim spilling down his face now. "I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..."

oOoOo

Jim wandered for nearly two hours before he made it back to the blanket. He sat down next to Seb quietly, looking nearly a decade older than he was.

"Is there anything you need?"

He shook his head, still quiet.

"All right. I'm here if you change your mind." _Don't let this be it. Don't let this of all things be what tears us apart. Give us this one thing, this one time away together that doesn't end with us apart._

The consulting criminal nodded; another quarter of an hour went by before Jim closed his eyes, rubbed the bridge of his nose, and finally, he began to speak.

"The three years I was away were hell. I was still doing my work; I had to do that, had to build my empire or else it would flounder and die. And I couldn't let that happen, not all my work. I barely ate or slept; I had meeting after meeting after meeting. Some went well... some... did not. I kept my reputation up, that was for sure. I don't know when I started to go mad, I think it was around the middle of the second year. I started seeing you places. Started talking to you after jobs that didn't end well, about what methods you would have used, about how I could have prolonged their agony. You always gave the best advice. But there were nights where you didn't talk back. Those were the worst. You just... _looked_ at me, your eyes so empty and hurt. I would spend those nights curled up on the bed, wishing to God I could sleep, ending up staring at the ceiling as the world burned down around me. I started losing time... hours... then days. I never missed a meeting, though. I still had my _work_ ," he said, chuckling bitterly. "I got caught in a firefight outside of a club in Kiev, bullet grazed my leg. Had to patch myself up with a butcher knife to cauterize it and a hotel sewing kit. I nearly died... well, that was the first time. Then there was the raid on the compound in Warsaw... knife through the shoulder. Then there was the deal that went bad in Lisbon. And the traitor in Madrid. The gang war in Turkey and the bomb in Romania. I began looking for things that I knew would fall through because I had a death wish. The pain would snap me back to who I was, make me feel less hollow inside. I had no idea if you were dead or if you'd moved on. I wouldn't have blamed you if you had."

The sniper was barely aware of the tears trickling down his face, horror settling into the pit of his stomach. "Oh my god," he whispered, hugging himself tightly, his knuckles white.

"I was able to come back that third year... back to the flat. It looked like it had been raided by police. I thought that was what had happened. I thought... God, I feel so stupid saying it...I thought you were a ghost. I thought I was talking to your shade, to the memory that was printed in the walls. The gun to your head, I thought you were dead already, was certain of it. Then I think I barked my shin on a table you broke, and to see you still there... still with the gun to your head. To know that it was real and that you were _alive_... It took everything I had not to tackle you right then. I would have let you shoot me, if it would have fixed things between us," he said, his voice still hollow.

Seb whipped around, eyes wild and brimming with tears and emotion. "I was more likely to shoot myself than you. I thought you were an imposter, pretending to be Jim. Then... the canopy... it took a memory so ingrained in my head to snap me back, to make me believe. The day we killed Danvers and made out canopy was the day you told me you loved me."

Jim chuckled brokenly. "You nearly did shoot me. Had that gun pressed to my heart. Well, where my heart should have been. Didn't have one at that time."

"Don't talk like that-"

"It was true, though. I carved my own heart out when I had to play dead on the rooftop, when you held me and screamed and wept and _begged_ me to come back. I tore it out so I could do what I had to do, so I didn't break that illusion to you. And I broke you anyway," he finished bitterly.

"James... look at me. I'm fine. Look, not broken. See?"

Jim looked at him, his eyes desperate and lost and at the same time so sad... "Are you? Are you really?" he asked, nearly pleading.

Taking the younger man's hand, Sebastian pressed it to his heart. "Yeah I still have nightmares, and yeah I have separation anxiety, and fuck if I don't worry every time I lose sight of you, but feel my heart. _Definitely_ not broken."

Jim shuddered slightly, losing some of the weight that pressed down on him, his fingertips digging slightly into Seb's chest. "All right. All right..."

"What do you need? Jimmy, I'll give you anything and everything. I'll set the world on fire right now if it means I get you back." He gathered his husband into his arms, pressing Jim's head to his pounding heart. "I'm not gonna lose you again. _Never_ again."

Jim choked on a sob before holding on to Seb as tightly as he could. He took deep breaths, taking in Seb's scent. "Never again. Not ever. Not gonna leave you, not gonna lose you. Not again..." he said, his voice half-mad.

"Hey, hey hey hey, it's all right. Jimmy, I'm right here. Not going anywhere. It's you and me, remember?" Seb rocked him back and forth, kissing the top of his head. "You and me."

Jim closed his eyes and forced the madness back, taking even breaths. "Yeah. You and me. Magpie and Tiger. Seb and Jim. Just you and me," he said.

Something still wasn't right. " _Jim_ ," he whispered.

"'M all right, Tiger. I'm here," he said, his eyes still shut.

"Okay. As long as you are."

He nodded. "Can... can we go back to the hotel, now?" he asked, his voice worn. "I'm... I'm _tired_ , Sebby."

"Of course. Yes, Jimmy, of course we can." Seb packed up what they had left and put his coat around Jim's shoulders as they returned to the hotel in silence.


	6. Trapped

When they got back to the room, Jim collapsed on the bed, feeling weary and older than he'd ever felt before. He stared blankly at the ceiling, the patterns in the plaster reminding him of the places he'd been in those three lost years: Budapest, St. Petersburg, Bucharest, Bosnia... the noise of gunfire and the smell of blood, the shouts of men and the scream of metal on metal, the cries of the wounded and the sharp slivers of pain as broken glass found flesh.

"Jim... I'm gonna strip you right now. I... I actually want to look at those scars. Is that all right?"

The younger man nodded and sat up, allowing Seb to remove his clothes like he was a small child or a doll... the latter more fitting; it felt like a knife to the heart for Sebastian to see Jim so stiff. Once he was bare, Seb sat on the bed and really looked at his husband. "I never noticed them before... the shoulder was a knife fight, the leg was a bullet graze... tell me about the others. I want to know everything."

Jim nodded again and began listing them off in a dull monotone. "Left forearm, defensive wound. Right wrist, first suicide attempt about half a year in. Right foot, stepped on a rusty nail. Left foot, burning metal from a warehouse fire. Right palm, attempted crucifixion. Right bicep, contact burn from a Sig Sauer muzzle. Under the jaw, knife, threatened by potential client after a deal went south. Back of the neck, thwarted execution attempt. Left breast, over the heart, second suicide attempt, end of the second year. Stomach, emergency appendectomy. Left thigh, nail gun. Left knee, broken glass. Right thigh, a very well-trained attack dog. Right calf, baseball bat. Right foot, broken glass. Left calf, battery acid..."

"Stop. Stop, stop. I... I can't... I never realized... they're so pale on your skin. You didn't mention the suicide attempts before. What happened?" Seb's fingers trailed over every mark, learning where each one was on Jim's body and thinking up at least ten different ways he could have prevented them.

Jim rolled his neck to look at Seb. "What do you think happened? Dark days, Sebastian. Very dark days."

"I mean what did you do? How did you do it? Where were you? I told you my dirty secrets."

"Razor to the wrist for the first one; I was in a men's loo in a train station in Berlin. The second one- hunting knife in a hotel room in Krakow."

Very tenderly, Seb kissed each one; then, moving methodically, he kissed every other scar on Jim's body, sometimes asking questions about the situations he had gotten them in. When he finished, he sat back. "So... if you kept trying to die, why didn't you go through with any of it?"

"Because... because I had the hope... that one sliver of hope that I would find you back at home. That we could go back to the way things were."

"And you did. And we have. So why the sudden onslaught of guilt, and don't you dare lie to me and say everything is fine. One look at you and I know you aren't fine, Jimmy. I never should have brought up _Les Mis_ , I should have left well enough alone. I _never_ wanted to burden you with that. _Never_."

"Because I needed to know, Seb! I can't _fix_ it if I don't know what's _broken_ ," Jim said, his voice desperate.

"But my telling you has broken you! I saw the look on your face after I finished. I've never seen you that... that upset."

"You'd be upset too! I broke you long ago, Seb. I broke you without _knowing_. And I almost wasn't quick enough to pick up the pieces in time."

"We're getting nowhere with this argument. I'm going to continue to love you because the alternative is too painful, and I can't bear to lose you again. And what I care about is that you came back. Not that you left, not that you hurt me, you came back."

"And what is the alternative?"

Sebastian looked away, staring at his shoes. "The alternative is that I hate you. The alternative is that I let anger and fear and pain consume me until Seb the Tiger is gone and only Moran the Hunter remains. The alternative is that I cast you aside and leave, Jim, and I don't want to do that. I love the ring on my finger, I love that I wake next to you in the morning, and I _love_ that you are the one I want to come home to at night."

Jim nodded, his eyes almost blankly fixed ahead. "And I'd understand it if you went for the alternative. I really would. I wouldn't blame you in the slightest."

Slowly, Sebastian stripped, laying down naked on the bed next to his husband. "I won't choose it. It would mean that I lose you, and I won't do that. I'm not giving you up. You still are the best thing that's ever happened to me."

Jim sighed and laid back, eyes closed. "All right..." he said softly. "All right."

The sniper sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose for a moment before gently carding his fingers through Jim's dark hair. "What do I have to do to convince you that I'm fine? I'm suddenly terrified that I'm gonna lose you, that you'll decide I'm better off without you, and you'll leave while I'm asleep... and... and I couldn't bear that, Jimmy. You're my _husband_ , and I _love_ you, and I want us to work. I've _always_ wanted us to work." He chuckled softly, staring up at the ceiling. "Remember the first time you kissed me? How much I freaked out? Remember how I fought, always pushing back, forgetting Rule Number Three? Yeah, you were intimidating and terrifying, but you were and still are the most interesting man I've ever met. You keep me on my toes, make me work hard, keep me at my best. I want to do more than my best for you. Always have. So _please_ , let me in. Don't try and lock me out, and don't beat yourself up for something that happened ages ago. We're married now. We gotta do this together."

Jim nodded, his eyes drifting shut. He was worn out and felt fragile and hollow, like the bones of a bird. All he wanted to do now was _sleep_ , but now he was afraid to because if he closed his eyes, his head would open up and the nightmares would pour out, crawling through his subconscious like spiders, trapping him in their web of pain and fear and lies.

"Oh Jimmy..." Seb whispered. "What have I done?"

"You've done nothing," Jim said, his voice soft. "It's what I've done. All of it, my fault..."

"I thought you'd fallen asleep, Magpie-love. And don't talk like that. It's not your fault."

Jim huffed out a breath that could have been a laugh, but sounded more like a broken wheeze than anything else. " _Not my fault_? I was the one who faked my death, who _left you alone_ for three years. I was the one who didn't come back, who didn't tell you. I'm the one who was responsible for all that _misery_ you went through. Tell me now that what happened, what I _did_ , wasn't my fault."

Sebastian hesitated for a fraction of a second too long in his reply. "It-It wasn't your fault."

" _Liar_."

The word burned him, making his chest throb. "You've explained it, you told me why, and we're together now, so why the fuck does what happened six or seven years ago suddenly matter?!"

"Because it still hurts you, Seb! You get this look, sometimes, when you think I'm not paying attention, that makes you look so _old_. You go away inside your head, and _I can't follow because I put you there_. I burned the heart out of you, and the ashes are smoking still," Jim said, not looking at Seb, facing the wall. Tears poured down his face, but he ignored them.

"James Patrick Moriarty, you look at me right now."

Jim curled up tighter and ignored him.

"I'm counting to five. One... Two... Three... you don't want to know what happens if I get to five... since you're still silent, I guess that means you won't care if I leave? Prove you right? I don't want to and you know it, but as long as you're going to act like a spoiled three year old who broke his favorite toy, that's how I'll treat you, Moriarty... fine. Just lay there and wallow in self pity. I'm just going for a walk around the block to clear my head. I'm not leaving, you moron. Just going out."

Jim stared at the wall... more like stared _through_ the wall. He was deaf to all outside sounds, stuck in his own head. He didn't register Seb's words, the movement when he got up off the bed and dressed. He didn't flinch as the door slammed behind him, and he didn't move. He stayed curled up on the bed, and that's how Seb found him when he got back. The blonde man hung his coat on the peg behind the door, flipping on the lights to see Jim still curled up on the bed. "You haven't moved once? What have I done to you... Jim, Jimmy, I really want to figure this out."

Jim started at the voice, uncurling and stretching, looking at Seb. "Oh. You're here again..." he sighed. "Might as well entertain you. Don't have another meeting for at least an hour. I'd try to sleep, but... well, that doesn't work out."

Seb froze, his brow furrowing. "What meeting?"

"The one with Zeiller. He stated his interest, so hopefully that works out."

"Uh, I think I have a hangover... where are we right now?"

"Berlin, you twat."

"Right, right. Sorry. So, Zeiller... this for rebuilding the empire?"

Jim nodded. " _Obviously_. I told you to stop drinking so much, it rots your brain. But you never listened to me, even when I was there," he said. Then he let out a harsh chuckle, digging the heels of his hands into his eyes. "God, I'm pathetic. I'm talking to you like you're _here_. Like you're not miles away back in London. Or... or alive. You're probably d-" he choked on the word, "- _dead_ for all I know."

"So? We all need ways to survive, and I'm your life preserver." Seb carefully sat on the bed, letting his hand fall close to Jim's. "And no, I never did listen to you very well, did I?"

"Swear you'd do that just to piss me off. Probably did, you wanker. And some life preserver you are... I'm lost so far out at sea that not even light can reach where I am."

"Do what? Drink? I drink because I like it, Jimmy."

"No, not listen to me."

"Well, you're right. I ignore you to piss you off. It means you pay attention to me."

"Should probably just have ignored you back. Goes to show what I know."

"You know everything, you fucking genius. And stop worrying about me. I'll still be around when you get back to London-"

" _If_ I get back to London. And fine comfort the words of a lucid hallucination make."

"Don't talk like that, you retard. You will... and I'm so glad you think I'm a hallucination. Really. Makes me feel so much better about myself. Take my hand."

"Been there, done that, got the t-shirt, as they say. Tried to hug you that first time, nearly broke my nose against the wall of the hotel room."

"Does that mean you need me to make the first move, then? Or are you too chicken to try?"

"Fuck off and fade, already. Leave me the hell alone. Never makes me feel any better when you talk to me," Jim hissed.

"You don't mean that, Boss."

"'I don't mean that'? Like _hell_ I don't mean it. Just makes me miss you too much, damn your eyes. Just go _away_. Stop reminding me of what I don't have any more."

"If you'd just take my hand-"

"I SAID _LEAVE_!" Jim yelled, his voice cracking, flinging out his hand to dispel what he thought was the image brought up by his overstressed mind.

Sebastian's head snapped to the side with the force of the blow, hissing as his flesh began to sting. "Fuckin' hell, Boss, but you still know how to hit, and you're a fucking retard child if you think I'm gonna up and leave you."

Jim began to laugh and cry at the same time, cradling his hand. "Even my fucking hallucinations won't listen to me. Great. Just... _great_."

That was the last straw. Seb rounded the bed and crouched before his husband, gently taking his hand and kissing the knuckles. "It's because I'm not a hallucination, Jimmy. It's me. It's your _Seb_. Don't you know your Seb?"

Jim cried harder. "Why won't you let me alone...? I'm _sorry_ , Sebby... I never wanted to leave you but I _had_ to..."

"I can't just yet. I've still got some time left. Why'd you have to leave? Wasn't there another way?" He kept kissing Jim's hand, his lips trailing over the reddening knuckles.

He shook his head. "I wish there was. But there wasn't. Owed him a Fall, and I had to see it through to the end or it wouldn't have worked."

"Okay... okay, that makes sense. You were the one he was fighting, I totally get it." And he did. For the first time, Sebastian really did understand. "So then... why leave me behind? Why not take me with you? Let me guard you on your travels?"

"Too conspicuous. He faked his death too, would have had big brother in on it. Two men traveling together, matching our physical appearances? Dead giveaway, and we'd be found and executed in a heartbeat."

" _Oh_. And then, if you told me about it... I'd follow... or get in touch... and fuck it all up... Jimmy, please look at me. Lemme say something and then I'll go, okay?"

Jim looked up, wincing as he saw Seb's face, like staring into his eyes caused him physical pain.

"Jimmy... I get it now... I really get it, understand why you did it... it was to protect _me_ , to make sure I stayed alive. And I am. I can promise you that, even though you think I'm a hallucination... I... I'll be there when you get back. I promise. I might not trust you at first, you'll have to work to convince me... but Tiger's waiting for you back home. And he thinks about you all the time. And he loves you. And Jimmy..." Sebastian took a deep breath before meeting Jim's haunted, brown eyes, "He forgives you."

Jim swallowed hard and closed his eyes, unable to bear looking at what he thought was a shade, a ghost. "Leave me in peace... _please_ ," he whispered.

"Going... going, love." Sebastian stood, heart heavy in his chest and left the room, closing the door behind him and slumping against the wall. Now he knew what Jim had been through and he knew that it had been every bit as bad as his own Lost Years... if not worse.

The sound of the lock clicking home was what brought him back, out of the darkness of his mind. Jim blinked and found himself alone in the room. He shook his head to clear it, vaguely remembering Seb saying something about leaving... _leaving_. He panicked and tried to get up but it was like he was learning how to walk again; his legs wouldn't hold him up and he fell to the ground. "Seb... _Seb_... oh Sebby, come back... please... _please_..." he called out, his voice broken and clogged with tears, trying to drag himself to the closed door, scraping along the rug.

The older man heard Jim's voice and couldn't get the key card in the lock fast enough. He threw the door open and darted to where Jim had fallen. "I'm here... I've got you... c'mere."

Jim reached for him, his hands trembling, touching every inch of Seb that he could reach. "You came back to me..." the consulting criminal managed to say through his wracking sobs.

"Of course I did... oh Jimmy, Magpie-love, of course I came back. Tiger always comes back." Seb gently set the younger man in his lap, leaning back against the wall and letting Jim touch him, his hands wandering everywhere. Jim let his hands gently cup Seb's face, not surprised to find it wet with tears; he let his fingers drift over it, like he was a blind man memorizing what Seb looked like. When he was satisfied, he let his head rest on the older man's chest, exhausted and drained and finally, _finally_ , at peace with himself.

The blonde's arms wrapped tightly around Jim as he tenderly kissed the top of the smaller man's head. "I meant everything I said. I _do_ understand now. And I love and forgive you, Jimmy-mine."

Jim nodded, almost too worn out to speak. "'N I love you, Sebastian."

Lifting him gently, Seb crawled back into bed and tucked them both in. "Sleep now. I'm gonna hold you and not let go."

"Good."

"It'll be better in the morning."

Jim nodded again, his eyes barely open, asleep as soon as Seb wrapped his arms around him. Surprisingly, he did not dream; it was as if his subconscious was taking pity on him and letting him rest, for at least this moment.


	7. Happy Honeymoon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was really craving Chinese last night... yeah

Seb spent the night sleeping in fits and starts, spending his waking moments mulling over everything he'd learned about Jim... everything he finally understood; he dropped off into a very light sleep just an hour before dawn, comforted by the man in his arms and the scent of his skin in his nose. It was probably around noon when Jim woke up. Seb was wrapped around him like a vise, drooling on his shoulder. He smiled and sighed; he still felt tired, and he suspected that he would feel this way for a long while yet, but he also felt lighter, like a great weight he didn't know he had been carrying had been lifted from him. And that... that was good.

"Mmmm... Jimmy... come n'play..."

Jim huffed out a chuckle. "All right. Wait for me, 'Bastian... I'll be along in a moment."

"But there's fish... Tiger want's t'fish."

"What kind of fish is it? Big trout or little minnow?"

"It's a _shark_."

Jim grinned. "Oooh, a _shark_. Careful, Tiger, or that nasty fish will eat the kitty all up."

"Ohhhh, but Tiger likes it when Sharky does that. In fact..." Seb opened his eyes, smirking with silent laughter, "Tiger's looking right at his shark."

Jim laughed. "You _wanker_! I thought you were asleep!"

"That was the point! You were talking in your sleep the other day, and I felt you wake up just now. Decided I wanted to have some fun..."

The smaller man blinked. "I talked in my sleep? What did I say?"

"Something about having to get all the kittens. And Tommy or Timmy or someone stealing all the blocks. And you called me fluffy."

Jim groaned, mortified. "Oh dear lord... _kittens_. And Tommy O'Malley was this beast of a child back when I was in daycare, would always hoard the blocks. Bastard," he said moodily.

"Awwwww, was Jimmy not the head shark when he was a wee little tyke?"

"No. I was the punching bag, actually," he said, rubbing his chin, feeling the rasp of stubble there.

Sebastian bit his lip, holding Jim that much closer to his chest. "That's why you like control so much. Not at the mercy of the bullies anymore. And it's why you like topping, I suppose."

"I guess, never thought about it much before," he said, nuzzling into Seb's skin, humming in contentment.

"Can I ask something? You don't have to if you don't want to."

There was a long pause. "Go ahead."

"Well, I kinda have this fantasy... you topping but I'm in you and you're riding me... you're in control... my hands at your hips... sorta woke up thinking about it." Seb bit his lip, not really looking at Jim while he spoke.

Jim sighed and held Seb closer. "As much as I'd normally want to enact on your fantasy... not right now, Tiger. I just... I..." he floundered for a moment before making a noise of disgust. "God, I don't even know what I want. Not sex, though. Not now."

"No, it's fine! Really, I'm fine holding you. We can cuddle. We can definitely cuddle." Seb kissed Jim's forehead and pressed his cheek to the younger man's hair. "Just something to think about for another time. I'll probably forget about it... no, I lied. I'll wank to that fantasy-gah! Right, cuddling. Shutting up now."

The younger man snorted. "You're such a numpty," he said fondly.

"No, I just didn't sleep much. Was thinking about you. I really do understand now, Jimmy. I get why you did what you did. And I'm glad because it means I appreciate our time together even more."

He held Seb closer and didn't say anything; he didn't have to. He just closed his eyes and pressed soft kisses to his skin, silent 'Thank you's' and 'I'm so sorry's'.

"One day, you'll forgive yourself," Seb whispered back, gently stoking the warm skin of Jim's back. "And you'll see how amazing you are to me, how much you mean to me, and then you'll know that I'm the luckiest man on earth because you're my husband. And I couldn't ask for more."

Jim just nodded, not wanting to say anything and risk damaging the fragile moment. He merely breathed and took in Seb's warmth and heartbeat, the strength of his body and the breadth of his love. Closing his eyes, Seb relaxed, happy and content to hold his husband and to just be there for him, for as long as it took.

oOoOo

They slept for most of the day, wrapped in each other's arms. It was nearly seven at night when Jim woke up again, his stomach complaining at him. He grumbled and wormed his way out of Seb's embrace, throwing on some clothes and jotting down a quick note to let his husband know where he'd gone.

_Tiger- Went off to forage. Will bring the kill back home. I love you. Magpie._

The sniper struggled awake when the door shut, sleepily searching for Jim and finding the note. Nodding and mumbling incoherently, he rolled back over and passed out again, exhausted. Jim returned about a half an hour later with two large, slightly greasy bags in each hand, and a package of eggrolls in his mouth. "M hme!" he mumbled around the waxed paper that was clamped in his teeth.

Seb started awake. "Wha? Who-ohgod, I'm _starving_."

Jim spat out the eggrolls and placed the food down on the small table. "And, as promised, I bring home the kill. Didn't know what you want, so I got pretty much all the meat dishes on the menu."

"Jim, I could _kiss_ you." Seb pulled on his pajama pants and stood over the food, taking in a deep breath.

He chuckled. "I insist. Payment for my services," he said, raising an eyebrow.

Sebastian glanced at him, a small, tentative grin crossing his features. "Well then..." He took the step there was between him and gently gathered Jim into his arms, brushing his lips teasingly against Jim's at first before claiming his mouth with as much love and gratitude as he could muster. Jim returned the kiss, returning the feelings that went along with it, wrapping his arms around Seb's neck and breathing him in, tasting him, drowning in him.

Humming, the blonde finally broke the kiss but didn't move much. "I really could do that all day... but I'm so hungry I could eat _you_ for dinner. So please... share the kill, my Magpie."

"All yours, Tiger. You take first pick."

Perusing all the dishes, Seb ended up starting with the kung pao chicken, sitting on the floor and taking a bite. "Oh _god_ ," he moaned.

Jim took a generous plate of General Tso's and some dumplings before joining Seb on the floor and eating ravenously. "I _know_. And who'd have thought that _Scotland_ would have such good Chinese food?" he said thickly through a full mouth.

"Dunno, but it's fucking delicious... almost as sinful as you are," he teased

Jim rolled his eyes. "Flatterer," he said, nudging him gently with his foot.

"No poke fights with food, not unless we're home, love." Seb took another big bite of food, reaching over and stealing one of Jim's dumplings with a smirk.

"Oi! Get your own dim sum, this is _mine_!" Jim said, swatting the hand away.

The sniper swallowed the food and went back to his takeaway, still smirking. "Yeah, but I like stealing yours."

Jim made a face, then stole some of Seb's food in retaliation, smirking himself as he ate it. "You know, I see the appeal," he said as he chewed.

"Mmm, the forbidden fruit, as it were."

Jim snorted and nodded. "Forbidden take-out," he stated, purposefully making his voice over-dramatic.

"A single bite and you fall from grace," Seb added, snickering.

"Except we both fell long ago," Jim said, raising an eyebrow.

"I fell for you."

Jim nodded. "And I for you. Although I do think you fell first... you were almost painfully obvious at times," he teased lightly.

"Oh _really_... such as?"

"You'd give me great cow-eyed looks when you thought I was busy... then there was the earth-shattering sighing. And don't forget the wanking when you'd scream my name as you finished," he said, smirking.

Sebastian started blushing furiously. "God, I'm so embarrassed now... and then you completely threw me when you called me your love."

"Oh, don't be! I was flattered, really. And the wanking bit... I only heard that once. Made me as hard as diamond," he said, lowering his voice to a seductive drawl at the last statement.

The blonde squirmed slightly. "You were flattered that your right hand man was hopelessly in love with you and wouldn't admit it to himself?"

"Flattered that you thought I was hot enough to wank over!"

"Well, you were and still are the best shag of my life. Of course I got off on you."

Jim shivered and purred. "And you're the best shag of mine. Not afraid to say that I went through numerous boxes of tissues when I was... gone, thinking of you."

"I wanked and thought of you too, on my rare sober nights where I would pull one of your shirts out and spritz it with your cologne... I'd imagine your mouth all over my body... the nightmares were at their most tame those nights."

Jim's face went serious. He scooted over to where Seb sat and leaned against him, taking in his warmth and comfort.

"Sorry... sorry, that was too much, wasn't it?"

He shook his head, then shut Seb up by feeding him a piece of chicken.

"OI!" he mumbled around the food, chewing carefully so he didn't choke. "I love how you smell," he murmured,  snagging half an eggroll and feeding his husband.

Jim worried the eggroll between his teeth before he could get a decent bite off of it. "Love how you smell, too," he said as soon as he had chewed and swallowed.

The older man slowly wrapped an arm around Jim's shoulder and focused on his food, soon finishing the dish and contemplating more. Jim took some boneless spare ribs and some lo mein and was contemplating the other half of the eggroll. "Here, Tiger, you can share with me," he said, scooching around so he could face Seb.

"I like that idea." The blonde took a large bit of the rib before handing it back and eating a few bites of the lo mein. This was so easy, the two of them sharing a feast of Chinese takeaway on the floor. He loved it.

Jim snorted a bit of a laugh. "Wait a minute," he said, padding away for a second. "Eyes closed, Tiger. No peeking."

Rolling his eyes and sighing heavily, Seb closed his eyes, whistling a tuneless melody.

"All right, you can open them."

"Any particular reason you wanted-Oh."

"What's a romantic dinner without candlelight?" Jim said, smirking a bit.

"Uh, not burning the hotel to the ground?"

He rolled his eyes. "Please. It's a ruddy _tea light_ and we could put it out in a flash by stepping on it. Relax."

"Sorry. It's m'job to look out for you. I like it, though. I really do, and you can make fun of me for being a sap all you want, but... I get my romantic meals with Jim Moriarty."

Jim grinned, the expression wide and genuine. "And I get my romantic meal with Sebastian Moran..."

The older man had to blink away the sudden flood of emotion from his eyes, grabbing another box of food from the table and opening it.

"Ooooh, garlic eggplant! I forgot about that one..." Jim said, stealing a few pieces from the box. He paused, looking at Seb's face. "Tiger, are you all right?"

"Y-yeah, I'm fine, just fine."

His brow furrowed. "You sure? Please don't lie..."

"Y'just... you caught me off guard, is all. I get really touched when you say romantic stuff, and... I dunno, I never thought about it from your point of view, that you get to do everything with me. It's... it's nice."

Jim swallowed and thought carefully for a moment. "For me, it's more than nice. I have _you_. I have you, and that means I'll never be alone again."

"I don't wanna grow old with anyone but you. I wanna be by your side through everything. I'm yours in every way, Jim. _Every_ way. And that has made all the difference."

"Same with me, Seb. You-" here, he swallowed hard before continuing to speak, "-you pulled me out of the dark. I... I didn't really think about it, but... I was so alone and... and I owe you so much."

The sniper's blue eyes softened, smiling at the brown eyes of Jim. "All you have to do is live for me, live with me, love me. That's it."

Jim smiled softly before leaning into Seb again. "I can do that," he said quietly. "Yes... I'm sure I can."

"Perfect. Now, are we going to finish eating or keep on flirting until I can't stand it anymore?"

Jim snorted. "Shut up and finish your food, Tiger," he said.

"Bossypants."

He rolled his eyes. "Whatever."

Seb finished first then held Jim against his chest while his husband followed suit; the smaller man sighed as he set aside the empty container and rested his head on Seb's shoulder, his heart full and at peace. "Tiger?"

"Yeah, Magpie?"

"Sebastian... I love you."

"And I love you, James. Happy honeymoon."

Jim blinked. Then he chuckled softly. "A very happy honeymoon to you, too."

Holding Jim a bit tighter, Seb leaned back against the wall and smiled, content, at peace, and perfectly happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's it!
> 
> God, I never figured a trip to Scotland would be such fantastic inspiration, but I also really liked the image of Sebby in a kilt (yummy). As always, a thanks to ladycorvidae for indulging my Mormor related desires, especially when we really ought to be filling prompts for 'D and F' or writing a different WIP we started a month and a half ago,
> 
> I'm sure this isn't it for Jim and Seb... but who knows?


End file.
